Sunday, October 31, 2010

This is Halloween


The boulevard down the street from our house is a popular trick-or-treating destination, so we took Nico over for a walk in his stroller. He seemed to have a really good time watching the bigger kids in their costumes, and we got some compliments on our costumes as well. A tiny samurai kimono showed up in a box of hand-me-downs, and it felt like it was meant to be since MB and I still had the really nice samurai robes my mom made for us a few years ago. Unfortunately it didn't occur to me to take a photo of Nico alone in his costume until I'd already changed him into his pajamas. Therefore, you'll have to make do with this creatively-edited picture of Nico and me that was taken by my friend bibliophile81 in front of her parents' house:



My laptop is still awaiting repair, but I'm planning to make my fifth attempt at NaBloPoMo. I've finished every previous year, even though my automatic archiving has gone haywire and makes it look like I started late every time. So come back tomorrow and the day after and the day after.

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posted by velocibadgergirl @ 10:29 PM 0 comments
Saturday, October 30, 2010

Baby Story, Redux


When I heard that Kim at It's a Beautiful Wreck was collecting positive Cesarean birth stories to post on her blog in October, I knew immediately that I wanted to submit Nico's story. I've been reading birth stories for ages, and I can't recall a single happy C-section story from all my years online. I'm sure they're out there, but the horror stories and sad stories and disappointed stories are the ones that stick in your mind. I still believe that the C-section rate in the United States is unnecessarily high. I still believe that natural birth is a worthwhile goal. But I know now that a surgical birth does not have to be an unhappy birth and that a totally gutted birth plan doesn't equate to failure.

I'm sure most of you have heard the story before, but I'm really proud of how the new version--infused with nine months of perspective--turned out. So, if you please: Surrendering:  a Positive Cesarean Birth Story.




(bonus baby pics from Nico's aforementioned nine-month photo shoot)

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posted by velocibadgergirl @ 5:03 PM 0 comments
Sunday, October 24, 2010

Greetings from the ambatsador of good cheer






(It occurred to me that I needed to add a disclaimer stating that I did not take these particular Nico photos. I wish I could claim them, but they were taken as part of his nine month photo shoot by a friend's super-talented photographer dad.)

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posted by velocibadgergirl @ 11:08 PM 5 comments
Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Raise it to the sky


I am not a confrontational person. I don't like to stir up trouble. That's a polite way of saying that I'm a chickenshit and am usually too afraid of reprisals to take a stand against assholes. When I was working at the deli in high school my stomach would knot up to the point of nausea any time a customer was a jerk to me, even when the customer was completely in the wrong. I never sic the cops on borderline-dangerous drivers or loud neighbors because I don't want to make a stink or to run the risk that they'll know I was the one to make the call. When someone is rude to me, I'm far more likely to turn red and fume silently and then spend the rest of the day thinking of snappy comebacks.

The one place I'm most likely to stick up for myself is in the car, since in the city you have to be a little aggressive if you don't want to get run down and pushed around. To leave the building where I work, employees have to go through a stoplight at the top of a curve and a hill, meaning that oncoming cars don't see us until we're right at the light. Because there are only a few of us at any one time and lots and lots of cars turning left onto the bypass, if you're not at the light when it turns green, the whole line of left-turners tend to assume they're going to get to go first. I usually just roll on out into the intersection, because I've found that if I hesitate, the turning cars just keep pushing through even though I have the right of way. I did this today, and let me clarify - I did not come close to hitting the other car. The driver did not have to slam on his brakes or swerve to avoid me. If he'd kept on coming, I would have stopped. I wasn't going to play chicken with him. But it was my turn, so I rolled out.

And he slowed, then stopped, and then he starting yelling. Now, I occasionally get the palms-up what the hell? from people at that intersection. I've given it to other people at that intersection on more than one occasion. Every now and then, someone will decide they should've been allowed to break the rules and go first and they'll honk. But this guy lost. his. shit. He was screaming at me and of course I couldn't hear him, but there are certain words that are really, really easy to lip-read. And he was shouting them with such vigor that I'm sure he was spraying his dash with spit. All because I had the audacity to decline his attempt to cut me off in traffic, basically. For once, I didn't hesitate, didn't worry about whether or not it would piss him off. I would've loved a moment to hold up a neatly-lettered sign inviting him to eat a bowl of dicks with a side of entitlement sauce, but there just wasn't time. So I calmly and serenely raised my middle finger high as I drove past him. Maybe I should've been the bigger person, or refrained from baiting a guy who clearly has anger issues, but I say screw it. He deserved it and it felt good to give it to him.

posted by velocibadgergirl @ 10:56 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Five


For my eighth birthday, a friend gave me a fill-in-the-blank Ramona diary, and that was the beginning. Once I filled it up, I spent some allowance money on a proper blank diary, and then another, and another. I kept a diary until I graduated from college 15 years later, sometimes writing almost daily, sometimes going for weeks between entries. I wrote about major events and boring day-to-day occurrences, about crushes and enemies, vacations and the family pets. By the time I finished college, I was spending less time writing in my journals and more time thinking about how I wanted to be a Serious Fiction Writer. But then I got married. I couldn't find a full time job, so I got two part-time jobs instead which often added up to more than 40 hours a week. I spent a lot of time reading but barely any time writing, and I started to miss it terribly. Then our landlord decided to wire our apartment building for cable and roll it into the rent, and it became feasible to get a cable / internet package at home for the first time. And not too long after that, I discovered blogs. After a year or so of reading, I decided I wanted to start my own.

When I set up my own site, I definitely had delusions of grandeur. I never really believed that I'd hit the big time, but I think I always secretly hoped I would. Unfortunately I jumped on the blog bandwagon a little too late and I just wasn't very good at it back then. I was out of practice and my early entries were infrequent and stilted. But blogging has been good to me. I have made friends, read stories that lifted me up and others that made me cry. I've been educated, I've laughed until I had tears running down my face. I've celebrated births and mourned passings and discovered a new kind of community. The (neglected of late) Photo Friday project inspired me to keep taking pictures. It took a while, but I eventually found my voice again.

I don't really know where I expected to be five years after I posted a painfully un-ironic picture of my cat and called it my first official blog entry. On this blog's five-year anniversary, I find that I'm pretty content in my little space. I no longer check my stats twice a day (or even once a month) or feel terrible when a post doesn't get many (or any) comments. A big thanks to anyone who reads and anyone who does comment, because even though I write for myself, it helps to have an invisible audience as well. I'll never be famous or land a book deal or even be picked to host a Wii party (sob!), but I'll always be grateful for the friends I've met and that blogging reminded me how to be a writer.

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posted by velocibadgergirl @ 9:44 PM 6 comments
Monday, October 11, 2010

Humanity


There's been a lot of ugliness going around the internet and the world lately, and it's really easy to get bogged down by genuinely nasty behavior as well as the general asshattery that one encounters on any given day in a city of any considerable size. But a few things have happened in the last couple of days that have restored a bit of my faith in the general goodness of people.

(1) I was driving home from work yesterday (after being unexpectedly offered an afternoon off) when the gangsta-looking guy in front of me slowed and then stopped his car in the middle of the block. Just as I was saying "Dude, what the hell?" I saw the squirrel he'd stopped to avoid squashing go sprinting out from in front of his tires.

(2) Last night at the grocery, I was pushing Nico in his stroller while MB had the cart. A little boy, maybe five years old, broke away from his parents and trotted over to us as we passed. He swung close and leaned down to put his face near Nico's. Before I had a chance to worry, he hollered "Have a nice, safe ride!" and ran off.

(3) (my favorite) A local thrift store moved to a new location and had their grand opening today. I stopped by with Nico after story time this morning and picked out a few shirts for him before noticing that the line was long and moving very, very slowly. I hadn't brought the stroller, so I was holding him with one increasingly achy arm and trying to keep the clothes hangers out of reach of his mouth with the other hand. As our time in line stretched on toward 15 minutes, Nico started to get understandably fussy. And then the old man in line behind us started mugging for him, turning his ball cap sideways, making goofy faces, doing a little shuffly dance, keeping it up until Nico's whining gave way to grins.

It's nice to be reminded that sometimes people are decent just for decency's sake.



Reading:  The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Playing:  Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons

posted by velocibadgergirl @ 2:57 PM 2 comments
Saturday, October 09, 2010

Containment fail


He may not be able to get out of the baby pen quite yet, but he's not too worried. He'll just take the pen with him.




Reading:  I Shall Wear Midnight by Terry Pratchett

Playing:  Dosage by Collective Soul

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posted by velocibadgergirl @ 4:42 PM 2 comments
Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.


I'm still using a loaner laptop and still not getting much sleep. I don't have any exciting news, but please enjoy the only existing photo featuring my kid's adorable teeth. He's now cutting his top two eye teeth in advance of his actual two front teeth. He'll have fangs by Halloween, I think. My mom says it's her fault because she's been calling him Zombie Baby for weeks due to the way he lurches at her and tries to chew on her arm.


For further enjoyment, my baby book nerd:


And finally, my new favorite Nico photo:



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posted by velocibadgergirl @ 11:34 PM 3 comments
 

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. — Frank Lloyd Wright