Sunday, January 07, 2007

I was working on a long, heartfelt post...

...about nature and animals and kumbaya.

But then I started poking through archives on my online message board, and found some glorious haiku that I wrote in the summer of 2005, and I think this art needs to be shared with the world.

Slimfast Peanut Butter meal bars: a haiku

Oh how I love you
You taste almost like candy
But don't make me fat.

KJ replied:

Carrots suck. They suck.
Cel'ry sticks suck too, so bad.
I want a cupcake.

I advised her to try the following, in honor of her insane, visiting, then-future father-in-law:

My sanity slips
Yes, Father Polonius
It is all your fault

In reply, KJ wrote:

"Where are you going on your honeymoon again? Because I shall bring wreaths of laurels and encircle your doorknob with them."

So I told her:

Down to Tennessee
To have hot hotel sex (Please)
Laurels would be nice

Then That Chick said:

"I would so totally marry you if you didn't just get yourself hitched."

So I told her:

This makes my heart glad
I loudly sing Bee Gees songs
To honor your love

Of course, none of my haiku (haikus?) can compare to the greatest Threadless T-shirt I've ever seen:


  1. Anonymous9:53 AM

    Gosh what's best? The fact that I love all these people? Or the freaking tshirt? I literally laughed aloud at that and at 8am that'sn o easy task!

  2. Anonymous3:16 PM

    Refrigerator!! I love that.

  3. I really liked the haiku I wrote, and I didn't realize I wrote it. I completely forgot about this exchange. I still don't remember it, actually, but the future-father-in-law mention does seal the deal for me: you didn't make this up.

  4. Anonymous8:08 AM

    Ordering a t-shirt even as I type this. Kind of; separate window. But still.

  5. Anonymous8:10 AM

    Erm. SOLD OUT?!

  6. Suck! Well...probably they'll get some more in? I don't actually even have the T-shirt yet, so they'd better.

  7. Anonymous11:21 AM

    There are some 'reprint me' request links, which I clicked. All they ask for is an email address; demand based I am sure. Hmm... with my hosting account I have an allowance for like, a thousand email addresses (I know - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Over?). I wonder if threadless would notice anything unusual if they got a thousand reprint requests from the same domain?

  8.'s definitely worth a try!

  9. Anonymous4:11 PM

    When I saw that shirt I laughed so hard I bought it - and sometimes wearing it it's funnier when people don't get it. You definitely have great taste.