Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Things I never thought I'd say, number 4

"Don't put the contact lens solution bottle into the poop! OH, MY GOD!"

P.S. And then, much later, Nico peed on my arm while I was carrying him into the Y for his swimming lesson. Did you know that baby swim diapers aren't designed to catch pee at all? I never did before I had someone in my life wearing them. Anyway, it was totally my fault because on the way there I idly mused how it was nice that he'd never done that in all our weeks of swimming lessons. I tried to unthink it as soon as I thought it, but it was far too late.


  1. Anonymous1:06 PM

    Several years ago I read in a linguistics text the premise that, using our existing knowledge of grammatical structure and vocabulary, we constantly create brand new sentences that have never been said or written before.
    This concept struck me as implausible, given the size of the English speaking population; many sentences obviously have been said and written hundreds, thousands, even millions, of times, and it seemed to me that inevitably we'd run out of new sentences.
    Yes, "I love you," "How much is that?", and "Hold the mayo" have been said a gazillion times, but as time went on, as I read sentences from newspaper copy to light reading, I decided that the concept was true.
    I was reminded of all this when I read your post this morning. Not only did you never expect to say it, but maybe nobody EVER said that sentence before.

  2. I love the idea of brand-new sentences! (Though I kind of hope this one was brand new just because I wouldn't want anyone else to suffer the indignity of watching their child dip their contact bottle into a mid-change gross!)

  3. I'm willing to bet that no one else has ever came up with the same sentence I said when Rae was about 3 and going through her "I'm a puppy dog": "Rachel, stop sniffing your sister's butt."

  4. What is up with those swim diapers? We live two blocks from a pool and one time I put a kid in a swim diaper & clothes, then by the time we got to the pool, his clothes were soaked.


    I have friends who both wear contacts and are on their third baby so I'm sorry but I think that sentence has been said before. Maybe not "I dislocated a rib getting milk out of the fridge," though.