Things I never thought I'd say, number 4
"Don't put the contact lens solution bottle into the poop! OH, MY GOD!"
P.S. And then, much later, Nico peed on my arm while I was carrying him into the Y for his swimming lesson. Did you know that baby swim diapers aren't designed to catch pee at all? I never did before I had someone in my life wearing them. Anyway, it was totally my fault because on the way there I idly mused how it was nice that he'd never done that in all our weeks of swimming lessons. I tried to unthink it as soon as I thought it, but it was far too late.