Monday, June 27, 2011

Righteous living or dumb luck

When I got to work this morning, I came thisclose to parking next to my coworker in the front parking spaces by the fence. But instead I drove the extra 20 feet to the staff parking spaces even though there was a good chance I'd be walking to my car in the rain later. Around lunchtime a storm blew through, and when I left for an errand in the afternoon I discovered that a not-gigantic but damn-well-big-enough limb had fallen 40 or 50 feet from a huge sweet gum tree and landed exactly where my car would've been parked. That sucker would've gone right through the windshield and / or the sunroof of my car, had it been parked in its path.

I also had a too-narrow escape from a traffic ticket the other night. I am hesitant to even write about this because it still makes me have that sort of panicky oh shit! feeling. I was driving home from my parents' house in the evening, having gone over there to pack up some books that I wanted to donate to a charity sale being held to benefit the dog rescue that saved Indy. On the way back my mind was wandering a little and I ended up running a red light. Now, it wasn't a horrible near-crash kind of running a red light or anything like that. Between my distraction (bad, I know! BAD!) and the dark, I misjudged how far I was from the intersection and how close the light was to turning. I ended up being in that awkward half-committed spot (or so I thought) when the light turned yellow and so I sped up to make a left turn through what I'd call an orange light, honestly, only to have it turn VERY red before I'd completed my maneuver. I sort of did that thing where you mentally slap yourself in the forehead and started to go on about my business and then I look in the rear view and there is a cop car right on my ass. And guys, I am SUCH a goody two shoes. I have been in a car that got pulled over twice in my life ever and I wasn't even driving either time. So I'm instantly sort of freaking out and thinking "OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO HOLY SHIT AAAHHHHH!"

I had turned from a busy east / west street onto a busy north / south street that intersects our not-busy street, so I usually go up to our street and take a right. I realized I had screwed up and thought, "Shit! Act normal!" (God, so stupid.) so I made a very sedate right turn onto one of the side streets that parallels ours, and then a very slow and polite left onto the tiny connector street that runs through all the parallel neighborhood streets. And this whole time, the cop is right on my bumper. And I'm thinking, fuck, did he flash his lights at me in the intersection and I just missed it? Should I pull over just in case or will that just make me look guilty (guiltier)? By this point I was driving like the most polite, well-mannered, mousy granny driver you have EVER seen. By the time I meticulously navigated two stop signs, I guess the cop decided he'd made his point, and he took off and left me to drive very carefully home, cursing under my breath the whole way. I probably did deserve that ticket just for stupidity alone, but goddamn am I glad he decided not to push the issue. I had to wonder if I was reaping some kind of good karma for the dog-rescue donation. After today's near-miss with the tree limb, I feel like I'm either living right or I'm overdue for sacrificing a chicken.


  1. Oh man. The other day I wasn't paying attention and I looked down and found I was going over 50 in a 35. I slowed way down---and around the very next turn was a cop with his radar gun thing pointed out his window. I was all "*whistling casual tune*"

  2. That made me antsy just to read about your near misses!

  3. ...and he was probably just going your way. But I know! I would totally do that too.

  4. Ohhhh, no...he was giving me a message for sure. After he stopped following me, he went right back out of the neighborhood the way we came in.