Tuesday, November 29, 2011


I hesitate a little to write another "Nico has a fit" post lest everyone decide my chid is an irredeemable terror, especially after THREE of my Nico stories at work today started out, "So Nico was having a fit the other day, and…" But this one is still making me giggle so I'm going to post it anyway. I promise he's really a delightful child most of the time!

Nico had the most theatrical, dramariffic tantrum I have ever witnessed while we were out shopping yesterday afternoon. It was my mistake for thinking we could hit one more store after we'd had a long drive and gone to one store already, but he seemed fine. Famous last words, right? So there we were in Once Upon a Child looking for a shirt for his Christmas photos this coming Sunday, and I had the apparently insanely oppressive idea to try a shirt on him to see if it fit. (You fool!) I got him out of his stroller, took off his coat and shirt, began putting the Christmas shirt on, and he completely flipped out. Literally cast his little body face down on the ground, flailed, screamed, and tried to tear the shirt from his person. At one point he escaped my grasp and went staggering out of the aisle, still half naked and screaming. I told him, "It's just like Daddy's shirt! It's a big boy shirt!" (because MB always wears long sleeved button-front shirts) but he still wanted nothing to do with it.

By now I'm thinking, we already got this far, I'm damned if I'm quitting now before I find out if this thing fits. I got the shirt on, he kept shouting "No shirt! Take off! TAKE OFF SHIRT!" So I took it off, and he grabbed it from my hands and clutched it to his heart, screaming "YIKE DADDY SHIRT! Put on!" Jesus. So I started to put it back on, and it immediately became the Shirt of Acid again and was greeted with cries of "Take off! Take off!" Once I took the hated shirt off, he didn't want to put his regular shirt back on either, so he was lying on the floor howling "No car shirt! No car shirt!" while I tried to put his shirt back on and he did his best to rip it off, all in this little bitty store with other people all around. I finally got the shirt back on -- and I must admit, I'm really proud that I was able to remain calm, kind, and mostly amused through this whole episode -- plonked him into his stroller and speedily fastened him in before he could escape or disrobe.

I was putting the shirt back on the rack before hustling him out of the store -- because after all that it was too freaking big -- and he was gulping and sobbing, "No ride stroller! BUUUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! No ride stroller!" This woman in the aisle said cheerfully, "Oh, my goodness! He's speaking in full sentences. That's very advanced!" I don't know why, but for some reason that was the most hilarious part of the whole incident. So thank you, random other woman at the store, for complimenting my child in the midst of his most heinous public behavior to date. (Actually, everyone there was very understanding and nice. Nary a side-eye to be seen. Perhaps they're used to flailing half-naked screaming toddlers?)

And of course, of course he still needs a shirt for his pictures, so we'll be shopping again on Saturday. I think this time I might drug him first, though. Him or me.

Reading:  The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater (I gave up on Inheritance and I'm so relieved)

Playing:  Only by the Night by Kings of Leon

1 comment:

  1. That's hysterical.

    Whenever I see a meltdown in a store I always think, "poor tired baby".