A hot mess
Yesterday while I was in the shower, Nico stole a peanut butter cracker from MB and took a bite. About 45 minutes later, he threw up an entire cup of yogurt all over MB and the couch. This is significant because about six months ago, my mom gave Nico a bite of bread with the thinnest smudge of peanut butter on it, and the same thing happened. He flipped out, adorably wailing "What's in my mouth?" and requesting Grandma to get it off, and then threw up 30 - 45 minutes later. And when Mom and I talked about it yesterday, she recalled that when he was about a year old, she'd given him a bite of a peanut butter cookie and he'd later barfed on the floor. So over almost two years, it took us a long time to establish the pattern, but putting the pieces together it suddenly seems clear that Nico has a legitimate issue with peanuts beyond just an aversion to the texture of peanut butter. I posted a flippant status about it on facebook, vowed to keep the kid off peanuts, and figured that was it. Except when I checked my facebook a few hours later, there was a resounding consensus that we need to get Nico tested for a true peanut allergy, lest it suddenly become more severe without warning.
I spent the rest of the day in a bit of a bummed-out funk. Even though I knew it was absurd, I felt awful and guilty, as if there was something I could've done or not done to spare him. A day later I don't feel terrible anymore, though of course I'm a little worried and I'm hoping it turns out to be a mild sensitivity. The thought of having to jab an epi pen into his fat little thigh makes me want to cry. I asked his pediatrician about it this morning and she didn't seem very concerned. Initially she recommended that we just wait six months without letting him have peanut butter again and then see what happens. I told her I was a little concerned with him starting school in January that it might be better to know for sure what's up, and she agreed and set up a referral to an allergist. Even if it's no big thing, I'd really rather know. A few friends of mine with kids in preschool have told me their kids are in peanut-free classes and it's really no big deal, which makes me feel better.
We were at the pediatrician so quickly because Nico woke up this morning with an awful-looking red swollen bump on his upper lip. The swelling went down on its own within about two hours and he was biting at it a little which makes me think it didn't really hurt, but man…it looked terrible. Everything looks worse on your own kid, I'm sure, especially when said kid is still really little. But since neither MB nor I witnessed any kind of fall or injury yesterday, my immediate thought was that it had to be a spider bite or a cold sore. A cold sore! I'm kind of torn up over this. MB and I don't get cold sores but my parents do, so of course it's possible Nico could've picked up the virus somewhere along the way. The doctor said it looked like a cold sore but might be a mysterious injury, and gave us a prescription for some cream to put on it if it looks worse tomorrow. I'm sure it's, again, no big thing, but all day I have felt like wringing my hands and crying "My baby!" Nico seems no worse for wear, but we're kind of a hot mess so far this week. And my couch still smells kind of gross.