Oh, how I wished I had a camera phone...

...today when I saw these two signs. You'll just have to believe that I am NOT making these up.

#1  On the sign board outside my general practitioner's office, where the medical study firm that shares the building posts the topics of its current research:

"Gental Herpes Treatment"

If I had herpes in my ladyparts, I guess I'd want them to be gentle (har har), but I'm not sure I'd want treatment from a doctor who can't spell.


#2  On the sign outside the public elementary school near my parents' neighborhood:

"Scool Board Meeting Thursday Oct. 20"

Damn, I'm glad I went to Catholic school all of a sudden.



The Fickle Public

Love 'em, hate 'em...all in the span of a day.

Love: This morning, I went swimming with my sister on campus, and then drove her over to the education building so she could meet up with her math study group. She told me that the campus children's center's annual book fair is going on this week, and that they had a paperback copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for $7.99. No way was I saying no to that!

I got my copy and went to the table to pay, and found myself in line behind a dad with two little boys, maybe 2 and 4 years old. All three were dressed in jogging pants and hoodies. I ended up walking behind them all the way through the parking lot to my car, too, and they were so cute. The dad ended up carrying the littlest boy and holding the older one's hand, and the whole way, they were talking and laughing. It made my heart happy, and made me remember this excellent, sweet entry from Purple is A Fruit that I read yesterday: "Fleeting"


Hate: (Well, maybe not hate. But seriously, seriously dislike): People who stand WAYTOOCLOSE to me in line at the store. What is up with that shit? I fully admit that I have a larger personal bubble than most, and I also have longer hair than most, but I firmly believe that if I could flip my ponytail and hit you in the face, you're TOO FUCKING CLOSE TO ME. Jesus H, people. My HUSBAND doesn't stand that close to me in lines sometimes. It's most uncomfortable when men do it, but women do it more, and old women disproportionately so. It's not like we're in line for the last piece of food or roll of duct tape on the eve of the apocalypse. The cashier is still going to be ringing people up after the two milliseconds it would take you to step from a decent distance behind me to the position of the person being checked out once I'm gone. Back the hell up.



This involves a bat in someone's house and made me laugh my ass clear off my body:

Please go read it right now, unless maybe you're at work and people might hear your ass fall off and hit the floor.

A Series of Unfortunate Conversations



This also made me laugh and laugh:

"Me So Aerobic" by Y of Joy Unexpected.

Excerpt:  "I may as well have worn a blinking sign on my ass that night. THONG FEAST IN PROGRESS. HAHA PRETEND YOU DON'T NOTICE. THANK YOU."



A low-calorie-ish snack that actually rocks:

I'm usually vastly disappointed by lower-fat versions of regular snacks. Baked Doritos? Meh. Not terrible, but not great. Baked sour cream & cheddar Ruffles? Okay, but not as good as the original.

These things, however, are awesome:



They taste a lot like my much-mourned, no longer manufactured, favorite crunchy snack of all time, Planters Cheez Balls. (moment of silence...)

Because I find it amusing as hell that there is a site that reviews snack foods, here's a link to the Cheetos Asteroids review.



Also:

more Brevity by guy & rOdd



This is one of the spiffiest websites I've seen in a long time:

www.jkrowling.com



Have you read the ass-loss-inducing bat blog yet? Why not??

READ IT. Please. For the children.



Reading: Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett

Playing: Lay It Down by the Cowboy Junkies