Heartbroken

Mr. Kitters bit me on the leg tonight, pretty badly. He bit MB while I was in San Francisco.

We had hoped that his behavior would mellow as he got older, but he's actually been getting worse over the last several months.

He's normal almost all the time, but if he sees another cat in the yard, he snaps and attacks the closest person.

I had to call my mom to come check and make sure I didn't need stitches. MB is on his way back from visiting his parents in Kentucky.

On Tuesday, we're taking Kitters to the vet to see if there's any kind of medication that can help him without drugging him into a coma. If not, or if we try it and it doesn't work, we will probably have to get him put to sleep. We have tried everything to modify his behavior and nothing has worked. He has become a danger to us and to our friends and family, as much as it hurts me to write these words.

I already sobbed for an hour in bed, and now I just feel numb. I love him so much, but we can't go on living like this, waiting for the next time he goes off on someone. We can't have a kid with him in the house.

He was supposed to grow old with us. He was supposed to be around for another 10 or 15 years, making us laugh and snuggling us at night. He was supposed to move with us when we buy a house, to watch over our babies when we have them. This was not the way things were supposed to go.

I thought about not saying anything and just posting the goofy entry I was working on before the bite, but I just can't do it. I'm heartbroken. I don't really know what else to say.