pygmy kayak ontario steve blog pot
(the not-quite-bimonthly-this-month Googleage report)

hard drive in an egg salad sandwich help desk

Do they have a special help desk for people who drop their hard drives into their egg salad sandwiches, or do you have to talk to the same tech support guys who handle peanut butter sandwiches in VCRs and oatmeal in CD players?


tiniest boobs ever

Boy, are you ever at the wrong blog.


diapered women

Go away.


correct usage of cedar mulch

Can't you just sort of pile it on top of the dirt around the plants?


colorblind geologist

Other than the maps, this really wouldn't be a problem.



dem bones and cones restaurant indiana

That would probably be a really kickass name for a ribs and ice cream place.


"his skintight pants"

No idea, but it led me to this somewhat hilarious blog post.


harper lee underwater swimmers

Wouldn't it be sort of fantastic if these baby swimmers things came in a To Kill a Mockingbird theme? You'd have Nemo, Little Mermaid, Pooh, Disney Princesses, and Atticus Finch.



egg salad stinks

Then don't eat it. Do people really need Google to tell them these things?


alphabet cards ichthyosaur

I've blogged about these before, because they are AWESOME.


I'm thinking very seriously about buying a set of these sometime soon, then saving them so I can lay them all out in a big poster frame and hang them up in the nursery when we have a baby.


macgyver truck

a list of problems solved by MacGyver


emo cause moms minivan is less mainstream

I guess that's as good a reason as any.


video killed the radio star onesies infant



Also, even better:



my husband tried hollow dildo strap on

I need an adult.


what is anal egg salad

I have no idea what this means, but it reminded me of this Sarah and the Goon Squad entry.


hello everybody I'm american

Well, that's true. It's not like I need to advertise, though. The accent sort of speaks for itself.


picture of egg salad face



underwater breathhold fuck

This sounds like an embarrassing ER explanation waiting to happen.


dripping sounds in wall behind fridge

It's a pretty safe bet that this is a bad sign.


pantyhose photo blogspot

Sorry. I haven't owned a pair of pantyhose since 2003, and if I have my way, I won't ever own a pair again.


sound effect +"squeaky shopping cart" free

Why would you want to find the most annoying sound on the planet, on purpose?


"blog" "work" "exchange" "name" "caridee" "next top model" "pirates"

I think your main problem here is a vast overabundance of completely unrelated search terms.


"spork skirt"

This never gets old:



hammer pant in dress parade

If life was fair, this one would've come with pictures.


carol shields ,"go for long walks

I have no idea why this led here, but I like the quote it references:  "Go for long walks, indulge in hot baths, question your assumptions, be kind to yourself, live for the moment, loosen up, scream, curse the world, count your blessings, just let go, just be."


"peed in an alley"

Why yes I did, but just once, and it was an emergency. Sorry, Stratford, Ontario...I didn't think you'd find out.


Velociraptor pitchers

This search led me to this. It's brilliant.

Usually velociraptors don't make good pitchers, because it's hard for them to get good velocity with their little arms. Most velociraptors are second basemen.

I just can't even follow this up. I'm humbled.


faux-unit clothes

Is someone actually trying to achieve Polterwang?


how to make an egg not brake when thrown off a roof

This shouldn't be too hard. As far as I know, eggs always lack a braking mechanism.


Mt Beauty shoulder dislocation

"Hippocratic Technique-foot in armpit, fraught with peril." *


velociraptor salad

This one is too wonderful to even make fun of...it's beautiful.


yoni egg classes in d.c

Thank God for Google, truly, because I could not make this shit up if I tried:

Sexual Kung Fu for Women Level 1

Belly Dancehall for Womb Healing combines Dr. Amen's great loves - bellydance & Jamaican Dancehall!


Billy collins "middle name"

"This much I do Remember" by Billy Collins

It was after dinner.
You were talking to me across the table
about something or other,
a greyhound you had seen that day
or a song you liked,

and I was looking past you
over your bare shoulder
at the three oranges lying
on the kitchen counter
next to the small electric bean grinder,
which was also orange,
and the orange and white cruets for vinegar and oil.

All of which converged
into a random still life,
so fastened together by the hasp of color,
and so fixed behind the animated
foreground of your
talking and smiling,
gesturing and pouring wine,
and the camber of you shoulders

that I could feel it being painted within me,
brushed on the wall of my skull,
while the tone of your voice
lifted and fell in its flight,
and the three oranges
remained fixed on the counter
the way that stars are said
to be fixed in the universe.

Then all of the moments of the past
began to line up behind that moment
and all of the moments to come
assembled in front of it in a long row,
giving me reason to believe
that this was a moment I had rescued
from millions that rush out of sight
into a darkness behind the eyes.

Even after I have forgotten what year it is,
my middle name,
and the meaning of money,
I will still carry in my pocket
the small coin of that moment,
minted in the kingdom
that we pace through every day.




Unrelated note:  MB and I watched Burn Notice on USA tonight, and it was quite a bit better than I expected. "Guns make you stupid. Duct tape makes you smart."

me:  "Did he just take zip ties, a gas rag, and a screwdriver?"

MB:  "He's like a dirty MacGyver."



Also, stolen from Bite the Rabbit because it's THE SHIT:  Apostrophe Abuse. And there's a Flickr group, too! *swoons*



Reading:  Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich


Playing:  Howl by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club