The shortest-lived victory of all time

Every day when I get home from work, I crush up half of a kitty Prozac and stir it into 1/3 of a can of cat food. Every day, Kitters picks morosely at his dinner and then opts not to eat it for as long as he can stand the gnawing hunger.

Guilt ridden, I sought a solution. Last night, inspiration struck. I stole a few shreds of ham from MB's lunchmeat packet, fed Kitters a few decoys, and then slipped him his Prozac, rolled up in a little piece of ham. He swallowed it without complaint, and even asked for more ham.

I was, as you can imagine, immensely pleased. I didn't blog about it, because I didn't want to jinx it. It didn't matter, though, because Kitters heard me thinking triumphant thoughts.

Today, the rolled up ham went in, the pill came back out. He unwrapped and rejected the pill with only the use of his (apparently slightly prehensile) kitty tongue at least five times before I gave up and decided to try the old-fashioned way.

I managed to get Kitters more or less tucked under my arm, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pry his mouth open while he was wriggling madly in my grasp. I tried taking advantage of his bitching, popping the pill into his mouth when he opened it to cuss me out, but alas...prehensile tongue strikes again. The pill dropped stickily from his jaws and I was finally forced to admit defeat.

I crushed up the slightly slimy pill, stirred it into his dinner, and watched as he eyed it dejectedly and then wandered off to begin the nightly process of wasting away, his ears set as if to say, "Blog this, pinky."

Cat 1, Human 0


I'm going to keep him, though, because every once in a while, he does stuff like this:

"Woman, hand over that donut."



Edited to add:

lolkitters, by basscomm:




Reading:  Little (Grrl) Lost by Charles de Lint

Playing:  Elect the Dead by Serj Tankian (sound warning!)