Well, that was a whole lot of nothing

6:30 AM, weather.com forecast:

12:00 PM rain and sleet
 1:00 PM  rain and sleet
 2:00 PM  rain changing to snow
 3:00 PM - infinity  snow


9:10 AM, weather.com:

"PRECIPITATION WILL MOVE IN TODAY AND INTENSIFY TONIGHT. IT WILL START AS LIGHT SNOW...LIGHT RAIN OR LIGHT FREEZING RAIN... BUT MAY MIX WITH LIGHT SLEET LATE THIS AFTERNOON OR EARLY THIS EVENING. OVERNIGHT... ESPECIALLY AFTER MIDNIGHT...IS WHEN IT WILL CHANGE TO A MORE WINTRY MIX OF SNOW AND ICE. ICE ACCUMULATIONS WILL BE CLOSE TO 1/4 INCH BY EARLY FRIDAY MORNING...MAKING STORM TOTAL SNOW AND ICE ACCUMULATIONS IN THE 1 TO 3 INCH RANGE...WITH ISOLATED 4 INCH AMOUNTS POSSIBLE."


10:15 AM

Sign out for three hours of sick time, to go to doctor's appointment and insurance company appointment. Take raincoat so as to be prepared when sleet starts falling.


10:50 AM

Doctor's office waiting room. News crawl on television announces that local schools are dismissing at 12:15 because of coming winter storm.


11:15 AM

Leave doctor's office, following fastest exam known to womankind. No visible precipitation. Stop by pet store and grocery store and gas station, in order to be prepared when the bad weather hits. Head for insurance office.


12:30 PM

Leave insurance office. No visible precipitation. Go by Dairy Queen and get lunch. Take lunch home and drop off milk and cat food. Note that landlord has thoughtfully salted porches and sidewalks in front of building. Eat lunch. Laugh hysterically when cat gets face stuck in empty chicken strip snack box.


1:20 PM

Head back to work. First pellets of sleet begin to fall. Field phone call from MB, who reports storm on its way.


1:30 PM

Walk into work. Immediately receive word that everyone is leaving at 2:30 PM. Work feverishly with coworker to finish some important tasks. All coworkers encountered are happily looking forward to a snow day tomorrow, since the building is closed any time the schools are closed for bad weather.


2:30 PM

Exit building, noting that no ice or snow has accumulated, and precipitation has totally stopped.


2:40 PM, weather.com forecast

3:00 PM - 5:00 PM  rain
6:00 PM - whenever  sleet and snow


5:15 PM, weather.com forecast

6:00 PM  rain
7:00 PM  rain
8:00 PM  freezing rain


5:30 PM

Still nothing but rain. Air temperature 36 degrees F. Decide weather forecast is bullshit and go to dinner with evilducky and the bibliophile. Figure everyone can head home before 8 PM if the roads start to get slick. Begin to think sour thoughts about the ability of near-Southerners to overreact to even the suggestion of snowflakes.


7:30 PM

Exit pub. Still only rain. Head to the bibliophile's house.


9:00 PM

Leave the bibliophile's house. Still only rain. Sole weather-related problem is a salt truck that sprays the side of new car while pulling away from a stoplight. Resist urge to burn that fucker to the ground for assaulting shiny new car.


9:40 PM, weather.com forecast

Rain and snow mixing until 5 AM, then snow.


By this point, weather.com, you have lost all credibility. My love for you has been tested. The snow day you dangled before me like a fat, juicy carrot now seems no more than an impossible dream. So long, and thanks for the fish.