Monday, March 03, 2008

Feeling terribly grown-up, part two


Being grown apparently also means that when you go down to your laundry room in your new house and find water trickling down the wall (my preshus baybee, oh noes!), you can't simply thunder up the stairs and bellow, "DAD!! THE BASEMENT IS LEAKING!!" and then go watch television. Oh, no. Being a grown ass woman means you have to shlep out into the rain to investigate why your damn house is leaking (Don't worry, house, I still love you! Smooches! Call me!), only to discover that the gutters are so clogged that rainwater is simply cascading out of them to turn the front quarter of the back lawn into a three-inch-deep ice-cold swamp. This, in turn, is causing water to ooze in through the casement of the ancient basement window and trickle down your laundry room wall. FABULOUS.

So I guess this means MB and I need to borrow or otherwise procure an extension ladder (because our house, it be tall) and somebody (*cough* MB *cough*) is going to have to climb up there, muck out the gutters, and slap down some gutter screening. Then we have to wait and see if this happens again the next time it rains.

Of course, it's supposed to rain for a day and a half and then SNOW, so I don't know when my beloved spouse is going to be able to safely summit the roof.

Fuck you, Mother Nature, you cunning bitch. Fuck you very much.



Edited to add:  I just went down to check on the leak, and it's not worse. But the dryer hose has come un-duct-taped from the vent, and when I climbed up to investigate there was a GIANT cave cricket perched on the top of the loose hose. The motherfuckers ARE out to get me. I knew it. I knew it. You'll have to excuse me, I need to go hide in a cricket proof room and rock back and forth. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.



10 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:26 PM

    Where was Kitters when you needed him???

    I hope that the weather report was a total lie and that the skiy clears up long enough to get the gutters working.

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  2. Kitters is upstairs sleeping under the guest bed. Maybe he's even smarter than I thought... ;)

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  3. those big brown spider cricket things? yeah, my daughter is scared witless of them. she says they are after her soul. and the dh has done some entertaining leaping dances as he tries to alternately avoid one while smashing at it with a newspaper.

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  4. Quite frankly, I agree with GerbDaughter, 100%. The Dread Cricket Roberts has come for your souls!

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  5. Anonymous8:38 AM

    That is the funniest picture I've seen in a long while.

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  6. That picture made me snort coffee. It's hysterical.

    I'm not squicked out by crickets, but I'm totally squicked out by centipedes. Too many legs moving independently. Oh, and earwigs. Ask me some time about when I felt something tickly in my belly button after a shower. You'll be shaking out your bath towel prior to drying off for the rest of your life.

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  7. I'm totally laughing. I know exactly what you mean... I still yearn to say things like "DAD my shower needs unclogged"...

    I'll admit, we've owned this for nearly 3 years and I'm still not very good at that whole taking matters into my own hands business. ....

    Can I also add, that while I know they're not dangerous we occasionally get rogue crickets in the house (natural side effect to reptilian pets) EVERYTIME I see one somewhere it doesn't belong (ie: bathtub) it freaks me out and I STILL can't catch them with my barehands, I have to use a cup. AND that's a perfect example where I want to say "HUBBIIIIIN! Come get this out of the tub for me!"

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  8. DREAD CRICKET ROBERTS!!!! i think i just did myself an injury.

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  9. I hate cleaning the gutters.

    Crickets suck, cause they look so much like spiders.

    "Dread Cricket Roberts" - hee.

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  10. AAHAHAHAHA!!! I almost choked on my soup! I mean, at 25? My dad? He still want come help get things off the top shelves?? NOOOOO!!! Say it ain't so! Luckily, I have a husband. SUCKER!

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