Sunday, November 09, 2008

Almost a fairy tale

When I got married in 2004, I couldn't exactly have ten or more bridesmaids, so I had to narrow it down. I ended up asking my sister, Danger, and my friend H to stand up with me on my wedding day. When she got engaged, H and her fiance asked me if I'd stand up with them on theirs.

Of all our married friends, H and C had the most traditional wedding. They booked a gorgeous venue downtown, two old houses that had been joined together by an addition to create a ridiculously lovely formal parlor. H and C each had a mix of male and female attendants. Their friend Kyle got ordained online and performed the ceremony, and another girl and I read poems.

The reception was really the height of the evening. H's big, gregarious extended family danced and laughed late into the night. Everyone was full of joy and excitement. During the father-daughter dance, H's wonderful dad wept. It was almost a fairy tale wedding, really.

Except H and C are both women, and even in today's boundary-smashing world, they face discrimination at every turn. And unlike most marginalized groups, they have to contend with everyday repression and official government-sanctioned dismissal of their basic rights.

As Mr. Lady--who was way more eloquent on this topic than I could ever be--put it, "The very day we finally make one large step in the direction of progress, we take what is certainly the largest step backwards I’ve had to witness in my lifetime. I am at a loss for (kind) words. I don’t even understand how this got put in front of the voters in the first place. Do we really legislate basic human rights based on popular consensus? Last time I checked, family was a basic human right. Maybe I was wrong."

And so, I am joining the others who have stood up to express our disappointment in the things that went down in California, Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida last week. As an adoptee, I'm especially and deeply disappointed in the gay adoption ban in Arkansas.

Can we please, please just learn to actually treat others as we wish to be treated, and to strive to extend the rights enjoyed by some to everyone, all people, no matter who or how they love?

Please watch this:

Thanks to Eating Out Loud and Swistle for spreading the word on the wedding ring photo idea. If you choose to speak out as well, consider adding a link to the list over at Diary of a Modern Matriarch.


  1. This reminds me of a meme that made its way around livejournal just before the election:

    Copy this sentence into your livejournal if you're in a heterosexual marriage/relationship, and you don't want it "protected" by the bigots who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow.

    No one is harmed, and we are all richer, when there is more equality and love in the world.

  2. Yeah, I was unimpressed by this as well. It's just sad.

  3. Ditto what you said. Cubed.