dog eats my hibiscus plant:  the monthly Googleage report

Either sitemeter has stopped logging most of the ridiculous Google hits, or I haven't been writing about boobs and sex toys often enough. Either way, it looks like this report is going to be scaled back to a monthly event again. Onward!

mpmonster
I have an mpMonster, also known as my Sansa mp3 player. I LOVE it. Disturbing amounts of love for the mp3 player, for sure. And hey...I happen to know that I'm not the only person in the world to name her mp3 player, so stop giggling!


morse code cheer bleachers
I'm imagining fans stomping out Morse code messages on the bleachers instead of yelling. It would be pretty cool, but ultimately I think it would be way too much work to stomp out all the letters to spell, "Come on, defense!" or "Hold onto the ball, you pansies!"


I'm trying to pass the potatoes
My most favorite Far Side cartoon ever!



new jersey camel crickets
HATE!


handwritten letter and photo gambia
I got one, back in 2001.


piercings
As previously discussed, I have several (eight, to be precise). I am recently aggrieved because I lost my favorite earring of all time, the pewter-colored star-shaped stud that I wore in my cartilage piercing. I have no memory of taking it out, and it's not in my jewelry cup or anywhere around it, so I can only presume that the earring worked its way free of its back and was lost, after nearly ten years of faithful service.

I am mournfully seeking a replacement, so if anyone can point me in the direction of a pair of silver piercer-sized (i.e. 3-4 mm in diameter...I've only been able to find 9 mm ones online, which would definitely not fit in a cartilage piercing) star-shaped stud earrings, I will be forever grateful. Sharp points preferred over rounded.


Ghost "West Baden Springs Hotel"
I don't know anything about a ghost at West Baden Springs, but I do love watching Ghost Hunters on the SciFi channel. So that's something.


The Watcher in the Woods
Have you guys seen this movie? CREEPY. I must've seen it around the same time that I first watched the also-creepy Something Wicked This Way Comes, because they're inextricably linked in my memory.


happy trail hot guy
We always called that little line of hair from the navel down on a guy a "treasure trail," but I suppose it's all the same, really.



Cat pictures 133t
It seems being l33t is one skill Mr. Kitters lacks.


WHERE CAN I GET A YONI EGG
I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU NEED TO STOP SHOUTING.


dodge durango, penis
Actually, I called the Dodge Magnum a Big American Penis, but all the credit goes to the Untamed Shrew, who made up the name when a rental car company gave her one to drive in Vancouver. I just thought the Dodge Durango was ugly.


"peace lantern" taiko



sequoia ring "fairy ring" blog



egg salad blog
Hey, that's me! Well, sort of.


bursting pee
Yikes.


cat sweatshirt people mimi smartypants
Hee!


cat ass tapeworm pictures
Dude...why?


spawn clothes
I have found some really cute spawn clothes, let me tell you.







And finally, two searches that deserve a spot in the weird Google search hall of fame:

egg salad dangers
Which led to this:

In her memoir, food writer Gael Greene writes of a brief and casual romantic encounter with Elvis Presley. At its conclusion, he gestured toward the phone and asked "Would you mind calling room service and ordering me a fried egg sandwich?" Greene says "The fried egg sandwich—that part I remember. I can't remember how big It was, how long the sex lasted, or who was on top (probably me). But I have never forgotten the fried egg sandwich. Yes, the totemic fried egg sandwich. At that moment, it might have been clear I was born to be a restaurant critic."


movie about woman being impregnated with sperm from ice age man
Holy monkey.



Edited to add:  I have discovered that some of my old posts are severely fubared in Firefox. I will try to fix that soon.