Heartstrings

I'm going away for a two-day training for work, starting tomorrow. Once it's done it'll be no big deal, but right now with my little boys asleep in their beds and me leaving in the morning long before they wake for the day, it feels big. It feels hard and sad and gloomy. A few people have said things indicating that I should enjoy a break from them and a night away and I guess I will in a way, but only a little. There are moments, of course, where the tiredness or the routine or the mess or the whining get to me and I just want a break, but going away-away? Like, not just to Target for an hour by myself but four-hours-away away? It feels a little soon. Probably I just have possibly-last-baby Feelings. Probably I'll have a really good time and only feel a tiny bit bad about it. Probably they will do just fine without me. Definitely I will miss these little faces. 

days of our lives

5:15 MB's alarm goes off. Elliott stirs. Send powerful go back to sleep brainwaves to Elliott.

5:45 MB gets up, showers, leaves for work. Elliott has gone back to sleep, is busy earning a pony.

6:30 Alarm goes off. Snooze.

6:30 - 7:15 Snooze. Snooze. OMG. Damn you, daylight savings time!

7:15 Okay, fine, I'll get up. Elliott is usually up long before now, but the time change has fully kicked his tiny butt. I wake him up and take him to his room for a diaper change and to nurse. He's so tired that he can barely keep his eyes open during his breakfast.

I'm with you, son.

7:30 Finish nursing Elliott. Tell Nico it's time to get up. Pump for E's morning bottle.

7:50 - 8:25-ish Pack up pump. Get dressed, brush teeth, splash water on face. Let Nico pick out his shirt and get him dressed. Head downstairs, put Elliott in his playpen, give Nico a yogurt cup. (Nico finally being able to eat his own yogurt cup is awesome. This saves me so much time.) Pack up pump parts & bottles and my lunch. Get the kids into their jackets, make sure Nico has his backpack and show and tell, head out the door.

8:35 Drop Nico off at preschool, take Elliott to my parents' house for the day

(I like it better when we can leave at 8:15 so I can drop Elliott off before we do preschool drop-off. On days when I have a morning school program at work, we have to do it that way.)

9:05 Get to work, check and deal with 8 voicemails and 20+ emails, finish prepping for afternoon science program

11:10 Surprise visit from Nico and my dad, who have stopped by for a walk in the woods after preschool pickup. This is awesome.

11:45 Eat lunch at my desk, finish program prep

1:00 - 3:00 Program time. Yay!

3:00 - 3:45 Worky work

3:45 - 4:15 Late pump break

4:15 - 5:00 Finish up work stuff, close up office, head home since MB picked up the kids today

5:20 - 6:00 Dinner. We're all eating something different (leftovers, more yogurt, baby cereal), but at least we're eating together.

6:00 - 7:00 Cash in a Shutterfly code and put together a photo card for the family members who are on the list for periodic kid pictures while the boys play separately but happily in the living room. MB heads to the basement at 6:30 for his weekly online game session

7:00 - 7:30 Elliott's bedtime - pjs, books, late bottle, kisses, into the crib in our bedroom. Tonight he's tired so he settles right down.

7:30 - 8:00 Nico has picked up his toys so he gets to watch kid shows on Netflix until his bedtime. I use the time to wash all my pump parts and bottles.

8:10 Nico's bedtime, only ten minutes late. Pjs, asthma meds, brush teeth, three stories, three songs

8:45 Pick up the toys in Elliott's room, put away a few outgrown pajamas, take the nursery trash downstairs for Wednesday morning pickup. Take a shower and shave my legs for Mommy & Me swimming tomorrow

9:30 Head downstairs and spend a few minutes picking up the house. I busted my ass cleaning this weekend and I'm determined to fight the inevitable entropy for a few days at least. Pack lunch items for tomorrow. MB offers to make bacon. Is there any possible answer but yes? Change out a load of laundry, which I do pretty much every night lest it pile up.

10:00 Sit down with MB to watch the last 15 minutes of Under the Gunn and an episode of Supernatural. Order Shutterfly cards. Refresh my Carters cart to see if anything has gone on sale today. Look at teacher thank you notes on Tinyprints. Write blog post.

11:30 MB goes to bed. Stay up to finish blog post, fold kitchen towels, poke around online a little.

12:00 Bedtime! Hooray!

float on

Hey, look at that. March, already. This year is trucking along at a pace that I don't recall approving. Usually by now I'd be thinking of spring things, but the winter is just lingering on, continuing to outstay its welcome. I'm in one of those spells where I'm not doing anything terribly noteworthy but I feel like I should say something, so here are a few somethings.


1. Perhaps it's because Elliott is at an age where he'd rather play with his toys than hang out with me all the time, but for whatever reason, I've been reading up a storm lately. I'm already at 8 books for the year, nearly half of my total number from the entirety of 2013. I doubt I'll set any records, but I've been enjoying myself. I'm keeping a list of what I'm reading in the books tab, so if you're interested you can venture over from whatever feed reader you're in and check it out. I think I'd recommend everything I've read this year, especially Lost Lake by Sarah Addison Allen and Ask the Passengers by A.S. King.

2. My birthday is coming up and my dad asked me yesterday what I want. And I, typically, can't think of a thing other than stuff I'd like to get the kids. Any suggestions?

3. I was off work today and will be off again tomorrow in exchange for working a big event last Saturday and Sunday. Well, Sunday was kind of a bust because we ended up shutting down early for bad weather, but I'm still taking all day off tomorrow. Nico went to afternoon preschool today because the public schools had a two-hour weather delay. It threw a bit of a wrench into my previous plans for the day, but Elliott and I managed to get quite a few errands done while Nico was at school, then we had both kids' well-child visits. N is 41 pounds and 43 inches, which puts him somewhere in the 90s on the growth chart I found online; E is 23 pounds and 30 1/2 inches and is 85th percentile for both. I was strangely disappointed that E is no longer off the chart, but then realized that's pretty dumb and obviously he's healthy and fantastic. After their checkups we picked MB up and celebrated our tax return coming in by having an early dinner at Panera (Nico's favorite).

4. I've been loving all the day in the life posts people have been writing lately. I'm itching to do my own since I haven't posted one since Nico was a baby, but I want to wait and do one on a typical day, not a random day-off day.

5. I finally jumped on the Greek yogurt bandwagon after someone on facebook posted that she'd finally jumped on and loved it. I tried Chobani and was really unimpressed, but now I'm hooked on the Fage with the cherry goo. And of course our grocery doesn't carry it, so I bought eight cups while I was at Target today. The kids have also turned into yogurt fiends lately. We are going through YoBaby like there's no tomorrow...the kids each ate two cups at breakfast this morning and then Elliott had two cups for dinner. People on facebook keep saying I should just make my own yogurt but I'm skeptical. I hate sour plain yogurt and only like it sweetened, plus I'm wondering if after I buy the milk and fruit and take the time to do it if I'd really be saving much money over buying pre-made organic yogurt for the kids.

Is that enough things? I think that's enough things.


Reading:  The Moon Sisters by Therese Walsh

Playing:  Make Yourself by Incubus

one

Dear Elliott,

You are one! How did this happen? Your first year has flown by and I don't think I've really accepted that it's ending. Of course this ending is the very best kind of beginning, but you'll have to forgive me for feeling a little sad that your proper babyhood is over. It's funny - when your brother was one I thought he looked like such a big grownup toddler, but I do still think you look like my baby. You remain round of cheek and belly, soft of thigh and hair. You still suck the middle two fingers of your right hand to soothe yourself. You have the most amazing eyelashes I have ever seen. I sometimes bury my face in your laundry and breathe in your sweet smell. Sadly for me, you are not much of a sleep snuggler. You'll nap on my lap sitting on the couch or in the rocking chair, but I don't often have a chance to sit for long and enjoy it. And if I try to bring you to bed with me, you just wiggle, try to climb out, or complain. I still want to keep you close, though, so your crib is still beside my bed and I must admit I'm not in any hurry to move it. Though I should never admit this for fear of jinxing it, you sleep through almost every night and are generally a very good napper. When I pick you up after work or get you from your crib in the morning or after a nap, you usually lay your head on my shoulder for a few moments, snuggling in. It is one of my very favorite things ever.

You have two top and two bottom teeth and two more top teeth are just starting to cut through as of yesterday. You say mamamamama and dadadadada and sometimes bye. You have signed more a few times. You like to kiss the pictures of babies in your bedtime book and beam at yourself in the mirror in the back of the new book you got for your birthday. If I put you in your pen in the living room with toys, you'll often play by yourself for pretty long stretches of time. You also enjoy playing with big brother in your bedroom floor in the mornings. Your favorite toys are your wooden disk rattle, the Little People barn, and your wooden chunky puzzles. You put everything in your mouth so I have to watch you closely and can't let you spend much time alone with board books. We have you in baby swimming lessons at the Y and you seem to like them. You spend most of class floating happily on your back with my hand under your rear. You still fit in the Beco though increasingly are allowed to get down and crawl around on outings. I'm interested to see if you'll tolerate being worn when the weather gets better and we go back to the zoo...I hope you will.

You have a strong personality but you are also immensely easygoing and sweet. You are happy most of the time, and have the best and biggest grin in all of babydom. You can properly crawl and cruise all over. You like to eat baby fruit, but only if it's mixed with cereal, and you also like yogurt. So far you're not a big fan of finger foods, though you will crack Cheerios in half with your four teeth before spitting them back out onto your bib, and you'll nibble pancakes into little bitty pieces. You only nurse first thing in the morning and take your milk by bottle the rest of the time. You are a big fan of your big brother, and will light up when he comes into the room. When he plays with you in your baby pen, you'll throw yourself up onto his back and try to hang on as he crawls away. You seem more physical and more daring than he ever was, and now can climb up onto the bouncy seat or the nursing stool in your room and stand up. You are bold and funny, loving and curious, and sometimes very loud. It's been a year since you were lifted out into the world, and you've been lighting it up ever since. Happy, happy birthday, my beautiful little one.

Love,
Mama

such great heights

Back in November, the weekly community playgroup where I sometimes take the boys was offering ages and stages developmental screenings so I went ahead and filled them out. There were a few minor not-quite-red-flags on Nico's that I pretty much knew would be there, things that on paper point to gross motor, fine motor, and social delays but that I suspected were just signs of Nico's Nico-ness. For instance, I truly don't think that he can't climb the ladder of a playground slide - it's just that most of the slides he encounters have stairs instead and he chooses not to play on slides despite my encouragement. Likewise, I was 100% certain he could feed himself with a spoon, he just wouldn't. He was still a few months away from his fourth birthday, so I kept the screening paperwork but refused to worry much. Then, in January, his preschool teacher filled out similar developmental screenings for the kids and brought the results to our parent-teacher conferences. Two weeks past Nico's fourth birthday, those possibly reddish colored flags were still there. His teacher (who is truly wonderful and a fantastic cheerleader for Nico) and I talked over the shared concern we felt over some of the things, and then I asked his pediatrician about them. I figured if he did need to be formally evaluated, better sooner than later. His doctor (who is a huge Nico fan and looked at me like I was a little nuts for even asking) didn't feel I should be concerned at all, and lamented the tendency to try to fit every kid into a predetermined box of abilities. I wasn't ready to dismiss the possibility that Nico has some mild sensory processing issues, but I felt comfortable waiting and seeing what he'd do in his own time.

Turns out I didn't need to wait too long - Nico's been checking off flags and concerns left and right the past few weeks. He drank from an open cup at school (a feat celebrated by excited texts from his teacher as it was happening). He started feeding himself his morning yogurt without protest (except for the hard-to-get last couple of bites). After refusing for over two years to let me teach him the correct way to hold scissors, he spent half an hour cutting a piece of construction paper into minuscule pieces while I was getting the house ready for Elliott's birthday party on Saturday. I was so happy that I wasn't even cranky about the mess. And today at a classmate's birthday party, I heard him ask another child, "Hey, do you want to play with me?" and he played well and appropriately with the other children for almost two hours.

There are still definitely things he doesn't do that the surveys and checklists say he should. He still has some catching up to do when it comes to things like hopping on one foot and catching a ball. But on his own schedule, to his own beat, he's blossoming, and I couldn't be prouder.

"I love you as high as I can jump! Mommy, I'm practicing my jumping. Jumping is like dancing!"

little prints

Last Saturday when Nico and I came home, there were little tracks all over the snow in the driveway. I pointed out the bird tracks, the rabbit tracks, and took some pictures of them with my phone. I went to get something from the car and came back to find Nico had made his own little tracks all over the snow. "Mommy, I made prints!" he told me. "Now you can take a picture!"

hot mess express

My left ear finally un-clogged for the first time in a week and following a month of one cold after another, I finally feel mostly normal today. The joy I feel over these long-awaited developments is somewhat diminished by the fact that I somehow managed to close the car door on my thumb last night. I squashed it right across the nail bed and it hurts like...well, like a motherfucker, honestly. Last night I tried to ignore the building constant thrum of pain for a few hours, then broke out the leftover good drugs they gave me but I barely used after my c-section. This morning I got barfy and lightheaded while changing Elliott's diaper and had to do some deep breathing. Because of how I pinched it, any pressure on the pad of my thumb hurts just as bad as any bump to the side or top. Good thing it's just my right thumb so it's not like I need it for anythi--OH, WAIT.

Things I have discovered to require more thumb-involvement than I ever realized:

>> changing a diaper
>> unhooking my bra
>> refastening my nursing bra clips
>> tying shoes
>> using scissors, especially small ones
>> typing
>> texting
>> writing by hand
>> folding socks

When I was in third grade, I shut my left hand in the door of my mom's big metal Chevy Impala. It gouged a big chunk out of my first finger, just below the knuckle. I remember being at school one day and my band-aid falling off. I went to my teacher to ask for another and she, presumably used to kids' frivolous band-aid requests, asked me skeptically why I needed it. I held up my gory finger and can still recall the burst of (probably bratty) satisfaction I felt when she visibly recoiled at the sight of it. She did give me the band-aid after that.

The good news is that while my thumb still hurts this evening, it hasn't tried to make me throw up in over 12 hours, so I think we'll be on good terms again soon. Hopefully I can avoid becoming infected with any new gross ailments or hurting myself in any additional stupid ways for the rest of the season.

Reading:  Hollow City by Ransom Riggs

Playing:  Led Zeppelin IV

little light of mine

I'm sitting in a high, wide windowsill at the children's museum (which used to be a library, which I sort of love...as if in a way, in its bones, it'll always be a little bit libraryish) and watching Nico play. I am absolutely positive I get judged a lot for bringing him here and then pecking away at my phone most of the time. But I don't bring him here so I can dictate and guide his play; I bring him here so he can play how he wants and hopefully learn a few lessons about sharing space with small humans who aren't related to him. I enjoy watching him play in his particular Nico way, somewhat focused and inward-turned, often narrating with bits of dialogue from his current favorite episodes of Mighty Machines. He'll end up spending our entire 3 1/2 hour visit in one big room today, moving from activity to activity but never venturing out into the rest of the building.

In the way of all kids everywhere, he spent nearly an hour playing with the very same Duplo blocks he has at home but only plays with in short bursts there. Then abruptly he was done and went to play with the Tonka trucks in the shredded tire bin for thirty minutes. Then he abandoned that to go play with the wall-building house, an activity area he has ignored since we started coming here in his first year. He's peculiarly non-efficient, walking all the way around the open-walled house to carry one foam brick at a time from the back of the house to the doorway in front. It's an exercise in meditation for me to not tell him a better way to do it, to not suggest more than once that he pile the bricks into the wheelbarrow and then carry them all at once around to the door. Or use the bricks that are already piled inside the hollow house. I saw something on facebook the other day about not realizing how type-A one was until attempting to decorate cookies with one's children. And yes, amen, preach, for making cookies and a whole host of other things which I have learned to just let go.

When Nico was tiny I used to daydream about him as a child, as a teenager. I didn't imagine him as a straight-A student (though that would be nice) or a football star or class president. I always daydreamed about how nice it would be if he turned out to be the kind of kid who made friends easily, who was effortlessly popular without being horrible. I went to grade school with a boy like that, who was class-clowny but sweet and never mean to anyone. Everyone liked him, and he never got his laughs at the expense of anyone else, something I appreciated as the class outcast. And there's the crux of the issue, really. I never fit in well, never made friends easily, and when I daydream a better future for my kids, that's what I imagine away for them. But as Nico becomes less baby and more Nico every day, it's clear that he's a little more like me than I hoped for in the ways I have wished he could skip. He often doesn't seem to know what to do with other kids, doesn't always share well, can turn inward and shy when another kid approaches and tries to engage him.

But as I wrote this, as I was literally in the midst of it, another little boy approached, maybe a little younger than Nico. He started bringing foam bricks and tossing them into the house with Nico, and Nico decided this was acceptable and actually a fun game. The other boy's mom came over and encouraged her son to ask Nico his name. They played in the same space companionably for about half an hour before it was time for the other kid to go home. We usually stay until the very last call, so we were still puttering around when a handful of employees swept into the room and started picking up all the pieces and parts of things that kids had scattered all over. Without any nudging from me, Nico pitched in to help and kept at it until the work was done. Then he let me help him wash his hands and we put on our coats and headed for the car, hand-in-hand through the beginning of a slight snow shower.

He might turn out to be an odd kid, a weird kid, a little bit of an oversensitive kid. But he's also funny and sweet and smart and kind and full of the capacity to surprise me. There's always a chance a difficult social childhood will even out later, for I now have a group of the best and most wonderful friends anyone could ask for, and I will always hope for my kids to find the same thing. And most of all, above it all, Nico is a good kid, a really good one. I think that matters most of all.

plague season

Since we last spoke, everyone in my house has been sick, some with multiple sequential ailments. In the past as a family we have generally been pretty healthy, so this has been quite an unwelcome schooling in how bad winter can suck. For the record, since the beginning of January:

>> The kids both had gross colds

>> Nico spent three days in the hospital with an asthma flare-up

>> Nico got an eye infection

>> I got a gross cold

>> Elliott spent a day being cranky and generally Not Himself and then was diagnosed with an ear infection

>> After feeling better for one day, I got a second gross cold

>> Elliott tested positive for RSV

>> MB got a gross cold

>> A weird raised red patch showed up on the side of my nose and then the lymph nodes on the left side of my face got swollen and tender and I felt like someone had punched me in the cheekbone. I went to the doctor yesterday and they told me I had a sinus infection and gave me an antibiotic prescription

>> Then today, the weird patch on my nose got worse and my left eye got red, watery, and swollen. I went back to the clinic for a big shot of antibiotics in my ass and another prescription for another antibiotic

And of course, of course, it could be so much worse. But I'm really hoping this is us getting all of our sickness out of the way for the year, rather than setting the tone for a year of various disgusting ailments.


presents

There was this thing going around facebook last week asking people to sign up for a "pay it forward" thing and agree to send a surprise of some kind, large or small, to ten people over the course of this year. I love sending random gifts and signed up, though I'll admit I'm a little relieved I didn't get ten comments on my re-post. So far I've snagged a gift for the person whom I thought would be the hardest to find something for, plus I sent out two random non-facebook-related gifts, too. I'll have to be careful to mind the budget, but I'm happy to rediscover how much fun random gifting can be.


playground interlude

On Sunday there was a brief 55-degree break in the Polar Vortex so I took the kids to the little playground down the street. It was Elliott's first time in one of the baby swings and he loved it. Unfortunately the big kid swings and baby swings are on opposite sides of the lot, so only one kid can swing at once and the other one has to wait (im)patiently for his turn.

pretty easily amused

I'm not even sure why this was so funny to me, but I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. "I am very sorry you are all great." Hee!

This is What Happens When Americans are Asked to Label Europe and Brits are Asked to Label the US

Needless to say, I would be hopeless at this. Even as a kid I knew I'd never stand a chance at the final challenge of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, when the contestant had to put the light-up things on the correct countries. Did anyone ever actually win that game?


Reading:  Lost Lake by Sarah Addison Allen

Playing:  Led Zeppelin IV

Oh, January

Nico was well just long enough to go to a monster truck show and turn four (FOUR!), and then he got a gross cold followed by a fever followed by what I thought was pinkeye on Saturday morning. We postponed his birthday party by a day to give him 24 hours on his eyedrops and he seemed better. He had a really great time at his party and got some very cool toys and it was a good day. Then today his eye was swollen and angry red-purple underneath and he still had a fever. We went off to the pediatrician and got diagnosed with an actual infection and came home with a prescription for stronger eyedrops. So I'm sure he'll be fine but damn, January...back up off my kid for a little bit, huh?

The little one is de-babying way too fast for me. He's almost eleven months old and all of a sudden he can actually crawl and he pulls up to stand all the time and he has four teeth. He also says bye-bye and mama and dada and started signing more on Saturday. Before I know it he'll be a year old and I just don't think I'm ready. Not that it matters, because he certainly isn't slowing down for anything. And oh, but he's sweet. They're both so sweet.

Way back...a noon year's eve party with Nico's friends:

Double playdate

Playing together!

The happy reunion after Nico got home from the hospital:

TOO SOON, INFANT.

The face of a baby betrayed by his mother's refusal to let him yank the tubing out of the breast pump. Check out the theatrical single tear!

Elliott gets a tiny bit excited about dinner:



Four!

Willingly sharing his toys with little brother

nobody gets me

me (texting from the grocery):  They have slutty olive oil. Want to try it? For the cast iron skillet.

MB:  I've never heard of it.

me:  I just mean it's not extra-virgin.

MB:  Ah.

me:  You're killing me, Smalls.

(Someone at work the next day totally did not get the You're killing me, Smalls reference. Also killing me.)

gratitude

At the beginning of the month, a nice lady named Heather contacted me and asked if I'd be interested in writing a post about gratitude. It was to be part of a series celebrating her journey as an eight-year cancer survivor. I agreed and figured I could come up with something cute about the holiday season. In the aftermath of Nico's three-day hospital stay, of course, I feel like I have a lot more to be thankful for than a nice Christmas (although I'm thankful for that, too).

I am thankful that Nico's asthma flare-up, while scary, wasn't a more serious, life-threatening condition. Sitting with him in the hospital, I was suddenly aware that doing so is some parents' long-term reality. It was a sobering thought.

I am thankful for the medical care that made his condition something manageable and treatable. I cannot imagine trying to raise a severely asthmatic child in a log cabin somewhere.

I am thankful for the competent, compassionate care Nico received from every doctor, nurse, therapist, and tech we encountered at the hospital. Even the food service workers and the housekeeper were kind.

I am thankful for the nurse who got Nico a portable oxygen tank on his second day in the hospital so he could spend an hour in the playroom.

I am thankful for our health insurance. Even with it, we'll likely be paying off bills for six months. Without it, we'd probably be financially crippled.

I am thankful that both MB's workplace and mine were understanding of our need for time off to be with our child, and for the sick leave policies that will keep us from losing three days of income.

I am thankful for the outpouring of support from friends on Twitter and facebook. Sometimes just being heard and acknowledged makes things seem less dire.

I am thankful for my parents, who took care of Elliott every day so I could be at the hospital with Nico.

I am thankful for MB. I cannot imagine a better partner or co-parent.

I am thankful for my bright, beautiful boys and I'm so thankful to have them both under the same roof again.


Heather was diagnosed with mesothelioma in 2005 and given 15 months to live. Eight years later, she continues to share her story to build hope and awareness. Learn more about Heather's journey here.

an unexpected development

Nico has been at a low but constant level of wheeziness for a month or two now. He has a prescription for a nebulizer that he can use every night if needed, which usually keeps him on track. This past Saturday, though, he just stayed wheezy despite his meds. After treating him at 8 PM, 1 AM, 6 AM, and at 9 AM Sunday, I called the weekend clinic to get him an appointment and figured it would be like the several lung-related appointments we've had since his initial probably wasn't actually croup episode back in April. I decided we weren't leaving without someone saying definitively, "this is asthma, and here are your management options." I understand why his pediatrician was hesitant to pull the trigger on an asthma diagnosis after his first episode, but this was at least our third trip since then to get a steroid prescription, so it was time to make it official. By our 11:30 appointment Nico was wheezing again and his oxygen level was only 91 at check-in. The on-call doctor listened to him breathe, sent a nurse to nebulize him again, listened to him breathe once more and then sent us to check in at the hospital next door. So, that was a bit of a surprise. I even asked if we should go home and pack a bag first and he said no, not really. Oh. Well.

I still wasn't really sure how serious things were. Nico was much better than at Easter, quite chipper really. But by 4 PM he'd had two steroid / albuterol breathing treatments and was wearing an oximeter taped to his toe. He kept dropping below 90 even after the treatments, so they put him on an oxygen cannula. I am glad beyond measure that I didn't wait until Monday to call for an appointment. He was in the hospital for three nights. We really thought we'd get to bring him home yesterday - even his doctor was almost certain - but his level dropped to 85 when he fell asleep for a nap, so he had to stay one more night. He was a complete trooper through it all and wasn't too uncomfortable thanks to prompt treatment and care. It wasn't easy, though, to leave him there with MB each night and come home to be with Elliott. Of course, while I was at the hospital with Nico, I was feeling guilty about the long hours Elliott was spending at my parents' house. An unexpected two-child problem! For his part, Elliott was also an absolute trooper despite total upheaval of our normal routine.

Nico was amazing during his hospital stay. He was mostly well-behaved, quite polite, and pretty patient. At one point, unprompted, he told his nurse, "Thank you for taking care of me!" He logged quite a bit of time watching Pooh DVDs. The first day we were there, ABC Family was on the tv in the room and they were showing a Muppet movie marathon. I'm not sure if Nico had ever seen the Muppets before, but after back-to-back viewings of Muppets' Treasure Island, The Muppets Take Manhattan, and The Muppet Movie, he seems a solid Kermit fan (I approve). He requested the Muppets several times during subsequent days, and luckily the pediatrics floor had a DVD of The Muppet Movie in their collection. Nico also got lots of mileage out of his Duplo my first construction site set, which I ordered for him when it was briefly in stock on Amazon on Christmas Eve. I had planned to save it for his birthday, but I couldn't think of a better cooped-up-in-bed toy, so MB brought it on the first day and he played with it through his whole stay. The pediatrics floor also had a playroom that they told us he'd be able to visit once he was off his oxygen, but the second day his nurse got him a portable oxygen tank so he could go down and play for an hour. I arrived to find him happily scooting around on a tricycle while MB dutifully trailed behind with the tank. (I fully recommend this method for affirming that you absolutely fell in love with and married the right person, by the way.) I think that nurse will always have a spot on my list of favorite people, just for how much fun Nico had that morning.

Monday afternoon nap. This one gives me Feelings.

I think I held it together pretty well overall. Mostly I felt grateful that Nico wasn't horribly sick and that his stay would certainly be a short one. The first night away from him wasn't too bad. I was sad about leaving him, but I still figured there was a chance it would only be for one night. I did have a good solid sad feeling once I was sitting at home in the quiet house with no Nico tucked in upstairs. At that point we thought he'd be staying Tuesday night, because the hospital doctor had warned us that asthma patients usually have to be off of supplemental oxygen for 24 hours before they can leave. But just one more night, we can do it! Maybe he'll improve really fast and get to come home early! The second night wasn't too bad because it was supposed to be his last night. I just had to get through it! The unexpected third night was the worst, compounded because Nico himself had a really hard evening after I left. He'd felt better that whole day and played a lot, off his oxygen. Then he'd only had a short, aborted nap attempt. So once I left he had two meltdowns and behaved very badly for his evening nurse. When we face-timed at bedtime he was so sad and droopy...it was awful. After that I had such a bad case of the sads myself. Even though I knew he was going to be okay, I felt very Eeyore about things.

But today, as promised, he got to leave the hospital. There was a happy Elliott / Nico reunion with lots of head rubbing and hugging. When Nico left the room, Elliott dropped the toy he was playing with and army-crawled across the house trying to catch up. An unexpected two-child success! He's on four medications (two until he's past this episode, two long-term) and still sounds a little rattly, but he is home. It feels pretty awesome to have my whole family under one roof again, really and truly.

cannula-free and face-timing his brother on Tuesday morning...possibly one of the cutest moments of their brotherhood to date

also an adorable trooper

Tuesday morning playroom time

with his fantastic new Duplo set

Wednesday: reunited!!