2005-09-14 - 11:41 p.m.
You can't fly. Know why?

Cuz you're a penguin. That's why. You can't fly. Know why? Cuz you're still in your egg!

Or so I was told this evening by the absolutely 100% delightful child that I babysit. Logically, I know that the twos are still considered terrible. I'm sure this kid is capable of monstrous tantrums. But to me, he's this magnificently compact packet of energy and intelligence, and he just makes my heart sing. He used to scream for 45 minutes whenever I came over, but lately he only cries for a few minutes, if at all. Then we're off! We are firefighters, driving our pumper truck to the scene of a fire! ("I don't like the ladder truck," he says. "I like the pumper truck.") We are baby birds, in our eggs! We hatch, and then eat our eggs, which he has cooked for us. We are fixing a crane! (Also known as the back steps) We are playing baseball! We are eating popsicles! No...not popsicles. YOGURT POPS. We do NOT have to potty, no we DO NOT. Nope. Not one bit. Except we're dancing around a bit.

I hope when it's finally time for MB & I to have kids, that they're as cool as he is. Otherwise, I may have to fix the crane myself.


I posted this almost a year ago on my first, very briefly-used Diaryland site. I forgot all about it until the bibliophile mentioned that she'd always been fond of that entry. I kidsat for the same little boy last night, and it made me think of it again. He's nearly four years old now, and seems more of a boy than a baby every time I see him. I haven't been the babysitter since his third birthday, however, when he declared that since he was no longer a baby, he no longer had a babysitter. "Kidsitter," he said firmly. "I'm NOT a baby." He once overheard me say "This is the babysitter" on the phone, and yelled from the bathroom, "No! Kid! Not baby! Kid!"

Back when I first started sitting for him, he didn't really talk yet, and the words he did say were pretty much gibberish to me. Luckily his parents had taught him to sign some things, so he could tell me when he was hungry or thirsty, and we could talk about some animals and the moon. Oh, and his dad's Harley ("Hossey"). Now he talks a mile a minute, and I understand almost everything. He's constantly coming up with new ways to be amazing.

Last night, he was telling me about a plow he'd seen behind a tractor that was going down the road near his house (he lives in an old farmhouse surrounded by cropland and a dairy farm). As he described the plow, he held up his fingers in a weird position to show me what the teeth of the plow had looked like. That simple gesture, which would've been totally ordinary in an adult, seemed so extraordinary from someone whose clothes are still marked with a T for toddler.

During dinner, he demanded that I not sing along with the Simon & Garfunkel CD that his parents had left playing in the kitchen, but repeatedly requested that I "sing a song" or "tell a story." He told a few himself. I sang a song I learned at summer camp:


"Percy"

Way up north in the ice and snow
Where the temperature drops to forty below
Who's the happiest one up there? Percy the pale-faced polar bear.

Sleeps all day and then at night, catch a few fish by the pale moonlight
Has no worries, has no cares... Percy the pale-faced polar bear.

Then one day a hunter came, caught poor Percy by the snout.
Put him in a great big cage... Percy howled and he growled, but he couldn't get out!
Now he's living in the zoo... Funny thing is he likes it too.
'Cause he met his girlfriend there... And she loves Percy the pale-faced polar bear.

Who? Percy the pale-faced polar bear.

Except I changed "pale-faced" to "happy" when it became clear that the kid was trying to learn the song, and that he didn't know what "pale-faced" meant or how to say it. Good Lord, it was cute to see him, mouthing the words along with me as he listened with a very intent expression.



This all seems painfully familiar...

Earlier this evening, I went to avail myself of the toilet in the half bath and I heard a dripping noise that was not coming from me, if you know what I mean. It sounded like it was coming from the wall behind my head.

I decided to go into the full bath to see if I could hear it from that side, and I noticed that the carpet was squishy and wet in front of the bathroom door. Ummmm...

I called MB into the half-bath, then the full-bath, and he heard the drip, too. He went back to the living room, and I noticed a dripping sound IN the full bath. I looked up, and there were ominous bubbles in the ceiling with drips coming down the wall. UMMMM...

The landlord is supposed to send maintenance in the morning.

I went into our bedroom just now, and noticed a small bubble forming in the half bath ceiling. There must be a huge pool trapped between the upstairs neighbors' subfloor and our ceiling. We can hear it dripping down inside the walls, and it's dripping out of the pocket doors and seeping into the carpet. This sucks, though I guess it could be worse. It could be a giant puddle in the living room floor. This one developed slowly enough that we were able to move stuff out of the dampest areas before anything got ruined.

The last time there was a leak in the half-bath, I came home from work to find an inch and a half of standing water in the floor. The maintenance crew did a half-assed job shop-vaccing the carpet, and the apartment smelled asserific for nearly a week. I just hope the mildew smell doesn't come back.





Konichiwa

MB and I have chosen our Halloween costumes for this year (And probably the next three or four years, based on how much they'll cost when all is said and done):



The black fabric is for MB's kimono, and the blue is for mine:




My mom will be our seamstress, because she rules. She made my wedding dress which I absolutely loved, and which looked 100 times better than it does in this picture:



I'm looking forward to trying out a new Halloween look, though I'm still fond of my costume from the past two years:



I think the fairy costume is cute, like an Amy Brown fairy. MB, however, is not a fan, and calls it my "slutty pixie" outfit. Can't please everyone, I guess.



OMG. I love this.

"Angie in the Sky with Fleur Chons" (hilarious Project Runway recap). Props to Y at Joy Unexpected, from whom I lifted the linkage.



Reading: homework

Playing: Sounds of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel

I like pleasure spiked with pain, and music is my aeroplane

Back in April, MB and I thought we were ready to start looking for a house. We made an appointment with the bank to get pre-approved for a mortgage. I began searching for houses online with the fervor born of an internet addiction and an obsessive need to plan. I found a lot of so-so options and a few really nice-looking options. I found two places I liked so much that I daydreamed about how we could fix them up and redecorate. Then I found a home that I loved so much that I actually allowed myself to imagine MB and I living there. I had a mental picture of watching our future (hypothetical) daughter walking down the front stairs.

I tried not to think too much about it. We went to the bank, and were told that we could probably afford more than we'd thought. Then we found out that we'll make $2000 too much this year to qualify for 100% financing. And that due to a screw-up with the way Sallie Mae was reporting my tiny student loan, my credit score was too low for us to qualify for a decent set of rates on an 80/20 loan. A few weeks later, there was some weirdness with MB's work schedule. My job is still officially classified as a one-year contract.

About the time that we decided to sign another lease at our apartment and wait another year, the dream house disappeared from the realty site. Even though it had already been made clear that we weren't going to be able to buy it, I was really bummed. I put away all the house listings I'd printed and stopped surfing the house sites. Since the car debacle, we've wavered back and forth between hoping for a house in 2007 and figuring we'll be lucky to make 2008.

As of now, the plan is to save like crazy and see if we can scrape together a 5% down payment by the time our lease runs out in mid-2007. On a whim, I grabbed a booklet of homes for sale from the grocery store tonight. The daydreaming-about-kids-house is back on the market (or maybe it was never off the market, just the website). I covet its 9-foot ceilings and front & rear staircases and butler's pantry and three bedrooms and office upstairs with a little balcony and wood floors.





I keep telling myself that we'll find the house we're meant to find, when the time is right. It's sometimes hard to be mature and sensible, though.




Reading: Book 6 of the Mediator series

Playing: Knuckle Down by Ani DiFranco

Blog powered by Blogger; blogger powered by Mountain Dew

I should've known better, really. Sure, in college I could knock back a 20-ounce and a half of Mountain Dew per day with no ill effects, but I'm old now. MB and I had a frozen pizza for dinner, though, and I was immediately afflicted with the dreaded Pizza Death Thirst, for which there is no known cure except carbonated beverages. The only soda in the apartment was a 20-ounce bottle of Mountain Dew, so I went for it. It tasted so damn good, but now I'm all jittery and half-addled. Perfect mindset for trying to write something amusing and meaningful, right? Caffeine! Whee!



So this is sort of really HUGE and FUN:


A dear friend of mine is getting married in Seattle in October, and I convinced MB that we should use the wedding as an excuse for a decadent West Coast vacation. Neither of us has ever been to Washington nor seen the Pacific, so it seemed like a perfect opportunity. We're going to hang with my homies in Seattle for two days, then drive over to Olympic National Park for four, then come back to Seattle for two more days. We're spending one whole glorious day with this insanely fabulous person and her handsome husband and divine boychild. There will be much squealing and jumping around, I guarantee it.


Also, don't tell MB, but we're totally going here:



If you don't know about Archie McPhee, you need to check it out. They have choice products, like this 17" latex vulture:



"Being a scavenger isn't easy. Just imagine if you had to circle around the Burger King for a few days before pulling up at the drive-thru. This 17" tall, soft latex vulture is extremely realistic and looks eager for you to die."


Mostly, I'm beyond giddy at the prospect of hanging with my peeps, and cannot wait to visit Olympic. Back when I was still trying to convince MB that we should take this trip, I put together a PowerPoint presentation to argue my case, which featured gorgeous photos and fascinating facts found on the park's website. I never actually got around to showing it to him, but it's quite hilarious. Here's one of my slides:


It's just as well that he gave in before he saw the slide show. He was a goner anyway. Who could withstand this kind of earthshattering logic and superior reasoning?


In all honesty, I expect to be both uplifted and immensely humbled by this amazing place:





Washington, here we come!



Reading: Book 6 of the Mediator series

Playing: The Best of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

An Unexpected Kindness

Someone I barely know gave me a gift today. She volunteers where I work, and I trained her for a project last spring. I saw her once or twice a month over two or three months, and then she left for India for the summer. Today she stopped by and gave me a gift she'd brought back for me. It's a beautiful set of six handpainted nesting dolls.




I tend to buy little gifts for people at random. Now that I know how nice it feels to receive one, I'm definitely not going to stop.



MB Rocks

Because he made my new banner. And for many other reasons.



Are you reading this? Um...why not?

The author of the blog Nothing But Bonfires is backpacking through Southeast Asia, and writing some pretty cool entries along the way.



Mr. Kitters Says:

"Please ignore the icky leaky baseboard and dangling internet cord and turn your attention to MY UNBEARABLE CUTENESS."





Reading: Book 5 of the Mediator series

Playing: Plans by Death Cab for Cutie

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. ~George Eliot

It was 70 degrees out today. I know summer's not quite down for the count, as it tends to hang on quite tenaciously around here, but it was enough to set things stirring. Fall is my favorite season of the year, though it's hard to put into words why I like it so much. During the fall, I feel restless and energized, simultaneously happy and itchy to be on the move. I'm hoping for a good, long, cool fall this year. With lots of hiking. Hiiiiiiiking. Yes, precious. And hot chocolate. And mooning over pretty leaves.



Hooray for free school!

So, as I believe I've admitted before, I'm a huge, huge nerd. I love learning, just to learn. I loved school. I'm far enough removed from my senior-year-burnout that I've started to miss it, so I'm taking a class at my old college. (My alma mater, I guess I should say, though that sounds sort of snooty for some reason.) I was poking around in the online course catalog a few months ago, looking for a specific seminar, and stumbled upon a lit survey course covering the short story form. It's a night class that meets only once a week, and I had the professor as an undergrad and really liked his style.

I did a term of AmeriCorps service last year, so I have some funds that can be spent at any accredited university. The only thing more fabulous than going to the bookstore again and picking out an armload of brand new books is going to the bookstore, picking out an armload of brand new books, and not having to pay for them.

It was a very good day. And we're starting with Poe. Oh, bliss...





P.S. OMG. Yum:





Reading: Book 4 in the Mediator series. Loving it! Wanting to read this instead of my books for class!

Playing: Plans by Death Cab for Cutie

Project Runway, how do I love thee?

First, a caveat...I don't think the show's been as good since they switched to one day challenges. They seem to be showing a lot less of the garment-making and a lot more of the drama and interaction. Drama has its place, no doubt, but the clothes are kind of the point, yes?

Now, on with the show.

I'll start with the "designing for the average woman" challenge from two weeks ago. Let me say that I almost missed this one. I set the VCR to tape it before I left for Chicago, but mis-entered the date. Imagine my sadness when I spoke to MB that night and he said, "Wasn't your show on tonight? The VCR didn't kick on." Luckily, MB is incredibly fabulous and agreed to tape it when it came on the next night. He rules. I watched the tape when I got home on Sunday night, and I have to say...it wasn't my favorite episode. There wasn't enough focus on the clothes, and even though I felt bad for Angela's mom for having to work with Asshole Jeffrey, I really got sick of the weepy dramarama shit after the first ten minutes. Let's talk about something else, please!

I thought that Uli definitely deserved to win...her outfit was a lot more creative than Vincent's, and his model was pretty darn skinny. Also? When he said that Uli's mom had something of a "European air" about her? SHE'S GERMAN, YOU WEIRDO. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? I wasn't that surprised or upset that Robert went home...he really has been flat and dull since the first few shows. Jeffrey didn't have to answer as much as he should've for his ATROCIOUS dress. I don't care that Angela's mom was difficult. That dress was a horror. But they also shouldn't have let Angela weigh in on the experience. No one else got to weigh in on their mom's opinions. I felt like the judges gave Kayne a little more crap than he probably deserved. He's been off the mark lately, but his piece for Michael's mom was not that bad.



This week's show was better, though I still wished they'd put more focus on the clothes and the design process. I like Uli, but I wasn't surprised that the judges finally called her out for making yet another halter dress. I loved Laura's dress, but was a little surprised that they didn't criticize her for her color choice. It made her look a little washed out. Vincent's was fine, but the shirt was so dull. Michael's outfit was FAB. If he doesn't win the whole thing, I'm going to be so pissed. He rocks the block. I can see why they chose Jeffrey for the win, but I still think he's a pinheaded asshole. His skintight pants are gross, and did he really feel the need to call attention to his crotchular region with that shiny metallic zipper decoration? Excuse me while I vomit. Also, when Laura saw Michael strutting his stuff for the Paris judge, she genuinely smiled for him. She has class. When Angela was eliminated, Jeffrey was grinning from ear-to-ear in smug approval. It just made him look even more like a jerk than before. I fear that he'll make the final three and we'll have to watch him strut and preen even more. GAG.

Unlike Mrs. Squirrel, I do not have a scientific method of predicting the results. However, I'm still feeling like it's going to be Laura, Michael, and someone truly obnoxious in the final three...meaning either Crazy Vincent or Asshole Jeffrey, because I'm starting to get the impression that Kayne's days are numbered.

For longer, snarkier reviews, check out Television Without Pity. The one for the latest challenge isn't up quite yet, but if you have time to kill, it's worth it to read through the others.

There's also Blogging Project Runway, which I don't read, but which others might find interesting.



P.S. September 1st? SEPTEMBER FIRST?? This has to be a joke.

Bragging and laughing that under his wrist is the pulse.
and under his ribs the heart of the people,
Laughing!

The Chicago trip was quite fabulous. On Thursday, we went to the Museum of Science & Industry to see the DaVinci exhibition and Frogs! A Chorus of Colors.

We had a little trouble getting into the museum at first, due to a lack of any kind of signage indicating the way to the entrance. We were looking for something that would lead us to a grand, impressive entrance, sort of like this:



But could only find this:



Doesn't really instill confidence that one is about to have a memorable experience, does it?

Once inside, things started to improve. The DaVinci exhibition was HUGE, and really fantastic. They'd built replicas of dozens of his inventions, presumably based on his original sketches, and had lots of information with each invention. I've decided that the next time I have to take one of those dumb email quizzes that include the question "If you could have lunch with one person, living or dead, who would it be?" I'm going to choose DaVinci. I always knew that he was brilliant, but I don't think I ever really thought about the scope of his imagination and creativity before.

Here's a picture of a mill wheel that was allegedly in use in Vinci while Leonardo lived there, and supposedly might have been watched by his eyes:




The frog exhibit was also spiffy. It was actually better than I expected. We looked at every single terrarium and I learned lots of cool facts about frogs.







Before we left for the day, we headed over to the chicken hatchery, just because.

We stopped by the Fairy Castle, too, and for the first time it wasn't packed full of people.

After leaving the Museum, we took a bus up to Michigan Avenue, where we eventually met up with our friend / hostess / college roomie J at Lush. Body wash mission: complete.


The next day, we headed back into the city to go to the Field Museum. We toured the King Tut exhibition, which was awesome if very crowded, and went through the Underground Adventure, which was cute but definitely geared toward kids.

That evening, I met up with a very dear friend and her hilarious family, and got to hang out with her delightful one-year-old. Good times!


On Saturday, the bibliophile, J, J's husband N, and I all went to the Notebaert Nature Museum in Lincoln Park. It was really, really cool. The best part of the whole experience was the butterfly haven.

An old friend from high school met up with us at the Nature Museum, and ended up joining us afterward for lunch at a cute Mexican place, ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery, and our attempt at dethroning N the Game Champion later that evening back at the ranch. The coup was not successful, as we did not realize beforehand that N was a lit major in college. Curses! However, the sheer obscurity of the game held him to a single pie piece for at least an hour--a new record!--and at one point he actually said, "Is this what it feels like for other people when they play Trivial Pursuit?" We counted a partial victory.

On Sunday, the bibliophile, J, and I went to a small food fair hosted by Whole Foods, which turned out to be a nice, relaxing way to end our visit, as well as a great opportunity to procure free snacks for the train ride home.


For a few more frog & butterfly photos, check out Shutterfly.

Laughing the stormy, husky, brawling laughter of
Youth, half-naked, sweating, proud to be Hog
Butcher, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, Player with
Railroads and Freight Handler to the Nation.

MB just got done watching a movie on the Oxygen channel

You know, that channel for women? Yeah. I didn't laugh at him, though. I couldn't, because he was watching Ten Things I Hate About You, and if I laughed he'd probably change the channel, and hello? Heath Ledger = The Hotness:

Julia Stiles rocks, too.

Then the movie ended, and MB flipped through all seventy billion cable channels, finding nothing to hold his interest. The following conversation ensued:

MB: Would you put in a movie for me?

VBG: Sure. *Gets up and goes toward television* What do you want to watch?

MB: Really, I want to watch Law & Order: Criminal Intent or SVU, but neither one is on right now.

VBG: Seriously? Not on any channel? (there's usually a marathon of one or the other or both on at any given time)

MB: Nope.

VBG: Huh.

MB: *listlessly flips through a few more channels* Wait. Never mind. Bob Ross is on.

VBG: You're going to watch this?

MB: *utter disbelief* It's BOB ROSS!

VBG: Hey, that's cool. Embrace it, man. Happy little clouds.



So my husband is now watching Bob Ross. And just now? This happened:

MB: Look! It's a squirrel!

VBG: *whips around to stare at television* He's not painting a squirrel. *TV shows close-up of squirrel* Oh.

MB: It's in his hair.

VBG: *thinks MB is kidding, laughs*

*shot widens to show squirrel actually wandering around in Bob Ross's hair*

VBG: Wow. Um.

Here's some proof that I did not hallucinate: Bob Ross Feeds a Squirrel (YouTube)

Happy little clouds, ya'll. Remember, there are no mistakes; just happy accidents.



Reading: Meg Cabot's Mediator series. It's young adult fiction, but very good, and I have a serious book nerd crush on Jesse the complete hottie ghost. I read a review indicating that the sixth book in the series is the final book, which makes me sad.

Playing: The Haunting by Clandestine

Come and show me another city with lifted head singing
so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'm hopping a train with this crazy character to spend an extended weekend in Chicago with J, one of our old roommates from college.

I am fully and gleefully prepared to get my geek on. On Thursday, we're going here, where my head will probably explode from the combined joy of DaVinci, frogs, a 3-D movie about Mars, an Omnimax film about ancient Greece, and baby chickens.


On Friday, we're going here to see the King Tut exhibit and go through the Underground Adventure exhibit, and to see my homegirl, Sue.



At some point, I'm hoping we can visit the planetarium. We're definitely going shopping at Lush so I can stock up on my most favorite shower gel of all time. It's an addiction, folks, and I probably need help.



While we're there, the intrepid bibliophile and I are also going to challenge J's husband (hee! congratulations, you guys!) N to a game of Trivial Pursuit: the Book Lover's Edition. N is good at every game we've every played as a group. He pretty much always wins, and usually by an embarrassing margin. We figured the somewhat obscure (but enjoyable for huge geeks like us) Book Lover's Edition would be a good test of his apparent superpowers.



I'll be taping tomorrow night's episode of Project Runway so I can watch it when I get home on Sunday night. I'm crossing my fingers that I won't get hit by any spoilers before I have a chance to see it!


http://carl-sandburg.com/chicago.htm

I is for Ichthyosaur

"Is your baby a nerd? Of course not, there's no such thing as a nerd baby and everyone knows that labeling children is bad and wrong. But if you're a nerd or a geek or heaven forbid a chemical engineer, there's a good chance that your baby will grow up to be at least a little bit nerdy. I mean, the genetics are there.. so why fight it?"

http://www.tiffanyard.com/nerd.htm

I long for these. I lust after them. I may, in fact, need them.



Can't you picture these hanging on the wall in a playroom? Okay...in a playroom belonging to the offspring of a geologist and an engineer. A playroom that will probably be filled to the brim with really geeky educational toys.

At least our kids will be upholding a fine family tradition...I was going through some old photographs at my parents' house last Friday, and came across a picture from Christmas morning the year I was three. I was unwrapping some kind of toddler-appropriate construction set. How cool (but nerdy) is that?




My heart is happy.

After writing about the Christmas photo, I dug out the other pictures I brought back with me from the house. Here is one of my very favorite photos of all time:


The caption on the back, in my mom's handwriting, reads: "May 1983. Dad (32 yrs) & Velocibadgergirl (26 months) doing paperwork."

Every evening, my dad had to fill out paperwork for his job. I wonder how many times I insisted upon sitting beside my dad while he worked. I wonder if he remembers this night.




Reading: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett

Playing: Drunken Lullabies and Within a Mile of Home by Flogging Molly