A perfect line

I finally started watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix after Jennie tweeted about it and good Lord, you guys. New obsession ahoy! I have the most embarrassing crush on Jax Teller. The dimples! The sly little wink! The small moment of freaking out when he shoots a guy! What's not to love about a biker who can destroy a dude's radiator and almost cries when the girl he loves tells him she's leaving town? And there was the Armani campaign, though I supposed that's unrelated. Anyway, the show is really well-cast, well-acted, and well-written and I'm happy to nerd-chat about it anytime if anyone else watches it. Does this mean I have to watch Friday Night Lights next, since people on Twitter also rave about that one?

Nico has a new thing to watch, too. MB found a folksy little song on YouTube all about front loaders. I suppose that doesn't sound very nice, but it's actually not bad. I figure there are probably lots of kids' shows out there more annoying, and it's SO cute how much Nico likes it. We've been working on teaching him to say "May I have" when he wants something and the downside is that now I find him nearly impossible to resist. "May I HAVE front yoader vee-yo?" Here is mama's iPhone, kid, knock yourself out! "May I HAVE another a-mal cracker?" Yes! Crackers galore! "May I HAVE a inge, preh-peese?" Yes, baby, have ALL THE ORANGES THAT HAVE EVER BEEN GROWN!" Be careful with the politeness, is all I'm saying. It can be dangerous.

"If the 'pretty please' doesn't work, I can throw in painfully sweet pajamas and unruly curls. I will wear you down, one way or another."

Oh my frakkin frak

Because we are late to every party, MB and I finally got around to watching the first disc of the first season of Battlestar Galactica. I think we're hooked.


Reading:  Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

Playing:  Decemberists, Kings of Leon, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Don't read this unless you watched Top Chef last night

O.M.F.G. I cannot BELIEVE Leah didn't get sent home. I cannot believe that she is still in the competition and Radhika got sent home. WTF?? Does Bravo really think we give two shits about the Leah / Hosea love story? It's a cooking show! Yeah, Radhika sucked as a hostess, but she's a chef, not a hostess. She's not on the show to win Top People Person. And Lord knows I love hippy-dippy Carla, but Radhika has been cooking circles around her for weeks. Can we please keep the people who actually can, you know, consistently COOK?

GAH. GAAAAAAAAAAH.

Willing suspension of disbelief

The Scene:  MB and I are watching season three of Buffy, the episode "Amends". After a near-hour of characters bitching about the heat in the Southern California (fake) town of Sunnydale, a lovely snowfall interrupts a big dramatic scene between Buffy and Angel.

MB:  What the hell? What is up with the snow?

VBG:  It's a romantic moment.

MB:  It doesn't make sense.

VBG:  Christmas magic, then?

MB:  I still don't get it. What is it supposed to mean?

VBG:  Well, snow sometimes symbolizes purity, or a clean slate.

MB:  I still don't see how it relates.

VBG:  There are demons living under the Christmas tree farm, and you're worried about a little snow?

It's not just me

So, a few weeks ago, MB and I were watching Burn Notice and this commercial came on:



I was ready to swear that at the end, the dude said "extraordinary nutsack." And I? Laughed like a twelve year old boy. I was also impressed with their...erm...balls.

However, it appears I was mistaken. They said "nutSNack," but it seems I wasn't the only one who heard it wrong, because they've since changed the slogan to "an extraordinary snack."

Oh, True North. If only you'd had the guts to go for it.

(But I'm glad I'm not the only half-deaf pervert in the world.)

(And seriously, is anyone else watching Burn Notice? We weren't sure about it at first when it started last summer, but now we're hooked. It's funny and badass and how can you go wrong with Bruce Campbell? And then, there's this:

Okay, I'll stop. But seriously. YUM.)

Dear Top Chef

No spoilers, but you can fuck off. As if making me watch people butcher whole dead pigs wasn't bad enough. FUCK OFF AND DIE.













(See, I told you I get cranky by the end of the day. Working AC, I needz it.)


Reading:  Bottlemania:  How Bottled Water Went on Sale and Why We Bought It by Elizabeth Royte

Playing:  Bringing Down the Horse by the Wallflowers

We Heart Mike Rowe

I'm a big Dirty Jobs fan, so we watched a few episodes on the Discovery Channel last night. Mike Rowe also narrates a show that I'll always stop for when channel surfing, Deadliest Catch, and some episodes of my Wednesday night must-see, Ghost Hunters. Because, clearly, TV is no fun unless it's scaring the pants off me or totally grossing me out.

Anyhow, this morning, MB told me that he had a weird dream last night after watching Dirty Jobs. He and BoMB and Mr Muskrat* invited Mike Rowe to go camping with them, but they made sure it was the "ultimate Kentucky camping trip," so there was a mudpit. When they got back to camp and announced it was dinner time and then busted out their traditional camp meal of giant steaks, Mike Rowe was all, "This is my kind of camping."

I have to tell you, I think going on a camping trip with Mike Rowe would be pretty damn awesome, if he didn't get everyone killed.



If you haven't seen Dirty Jobs, you're seriously missing out. Apparently the Discovery Channel website streams full episodes here. They also stream two of my other favorite shows, Mythbusters and What Not to Wear.

*BoMB = Brother of MB, Mr Muskrat = coworker and camping buddy of MB



Reading:  Little (Grrl) Lost by Charles de Lint

Playing:  Cowboy Junkies on shuffle (great rainy-day music)

Don't read this if you haven't watched Top Chef yet.

No, really.



With apologies to Mike, who I accidentally totally screwed over not ten minutes ago.


Scroll down....

Dale was robbed!

I can't believe I had to watch the whole season just to see Hung win. Goddammit. Not that I hate Hung, but dude...DALE'S SCALLOPS. That's all I'm saying.

Half-Assed Reality Show Recaps

America's Next Top Model

I haven't watched this week's yet, but I watched last week's. I'm really, really starting to like AJ. Michelle and Amanda's photos continue to be stunning, but they both have the most gangly walks. Even though she won the first catwalk challenge, I still think Melrose's walk is ridiculous. I was sooo glad to see bitchy Monique go home. I really thought that tippy catwalk was a little extreme, though. Someone could've actually been hurt. I sort of felt the same way about them having the girls walk in heels on the cobblestone patio. If one of them had broken an ankle, that would've been some crap.


Project Runway--the Reunion

Vincent = TOOLIO TOOLIO TOOL. Crazy ass tool.

Keith = a bigger ass than EVER before. "It wasn't in the contract. Oh, wait. The books magically reappeared in my room. Uncomfortable, isn't it?" What-the-fuck-ever. Best related quote: "Tim asks Keith if he thinks the outcome was fair, and he says that we can see in face and eyes that he's upset. ["Which we couldn't, really, because he's a sociopath, but okay, Keith." -- Sars]" (Television Without Pity)

Laura & Heidi were just about the cutest pair of pregnant ladies in the universe.

I loved the portions where they'd show clips of people saying a certain phrase or whatever. Laura's was "serious ugly," Robert's was "boring." Tim's "big words" thing was funny, but I was a bit concerned about the designers. I'll grant that I didn't know what faux bois meant, but caucus? consternation? Dude, please. Laura went to Columbia. I hope she at least was unfazed.

I think the best part of the entire reunion show might've been the Bradley clip segment, aptly titled "????" and showing him making odd noises. I love Bradley.

Also, Michael won the Fan Favorite contest, so all was right with the world for the week.

Project Runway--Finale, Part One

I'm not sure how I feel about the whole scandal that's brewing. I heard rumors ahead of time that Jeffrey was going to be accused of outsourcing some of his work. Knowing that, I could sort of see how they chose certain shots to amp up the drama...like showing Laura's reaction to watching Jeffrey pull out his pieces, and watching Jeffrey hunting "suspiciously" for his receipts. I'm a dork, so I've actually been thinking over this episode since I watched it. Here's what I've come up with. I figure there are a few options:

          (1) Jeffrey cheated.
               (A) His receipts will prove without a doubt that he cheated.
                    (i) Jeffrey's an idiot for not paying cash and destroying the evidence. He deserves to be disqualified.
               (B) His receipts show nothing.
                    (i) Jeffrey deserves to be disqualified, but shouldn't be, because there is no proof.

          (2) Jeffrey didn't cheat.
               (A) His receipts are not in order because he lost a few.
                    (i)If Jeffrey is disqualified because of suspicion of cheating + receipts not in order...he should've been more careful, knowing that the show would be collecting the receipts. BUT I don't feel like this is definitive proof of him cheating.
               (B) Nothing is proven.
                    (i) Jeffrey stays in, but only after the show tries to stir up as much drama as possible.

The preview clip clearly was trying to indicate that something bad happens. Tim Gunn mentioned investigation and said, "but unfortunately..." and then they cut to Jeffrey crying on Uli's shoulder.

Someone I know said that she feels like Jeffrey's reaction didn't indicate guilt. She pointed out that he's usually more cocky and fuck-you about the stuff he does. He seemed genuinely shocked and upset by the accusations. Then again, so did Keith, and he was obviously in the wrong.

I feel like he should not be disqualified unless there is incontrovertible evidence against him. If there is anything less than that, then it's too much of a risk. I don't like Jeffrey, but I know that if I was accused of lying or cheating and didn't, I would be completely outraged. Also, I know it's just a TV show and who cares, but for the people on the show, it's not just a show. It's a big damn deal.

All that said, I don't think badly of Laura for making the accusation. She seemed to really believe something fishy was going on, rather than shit-stirring just for the sake of shit-stirring.

I'm interested to see how it all plays out.

Adventures in BabyKidsitting

I kidsat the usual charge tonight. As we were playing with the planes we'd built out of Duplo blocks, he made up a song about planes. I think he was trying to imitate drumbeats before the verses, but it sounded for all the world like he was trying to beatbox. It was SO HARD to not laugh.


Project Runway...the somewhat disjointed recap

This episode was pretty good, I thought. Jeffrey actually seemed to put his dickhead behavior away for once. During the part where he was chasing Uli around the workroom, flapping the arms of her "muu-muu dress" like a crazed pterodactyl, I almost liked him a tiny bit. During the model selection, why did Amanda actually look surprised that Jeffrey chose Marilinda instead of her? I didn't know that in seasons past, the final four went to Olympus Fashion Week with one going as a "decoy," so when someone I know posted about the four collections on a message board I frequent, it pretty much ruined the surprise for me.

Even if it was a gimmick that they'd planned from the beginning, I still think it'll work out well. With four designers as diverse and generally talented as these, it should make for a good showdown. I still want Michael to win, despite the fact that his last dress was not so great. Next week...reunion. I am NOT LOOKING FORWARD to seeing Keith the Ass again. Also? In the promo? I heard Vincent say something that sounded like "I can't help it if it turns me on." I don't know what else was said, because by the time he finished, I was curled up behind the sofa with my arms wrapped around my head, humming a vacant little tune.


America's Next Top Model

Eventually the models will stop S H R I E K I N G every time they see Tyra Banks, right? Right? Please...? I'd also say, "Eventually Tyra will stop plastering 14 thousand photos of herself all over the set, right?" but I think the fact that the contestants each sleep under a giant poster of Tyra's face renders that question moot. Also, weather alerts over about ten full minutes of the somewhat important content, like WHAT THEY WERE DOING FOR THE MAKEOVERS? Fuck that shit sideways, dude. Speaking of makeovers, three things. (1) Poor Jaeda. Poor, poor Jaeda. Now that they've chopped her hair boy-short, what do you wanna bet they're going to comment during EVERY photo shoot now about how masculine she looks? (2) How much crybaby can we be expected to take in one hour? (3) I like Anchal more every minute. She killed me with her "threehead" comment.

Here's a big shocker: I despise Monique. What a bitch. And during that whole drama-rama nonsense at the house, what was up with the one white chick who was wearing a regular bra under a black tube top?

WTF was Tyra wearing during judging? Even MB looked up and said, "What the hell is Tyra wearing?" Good Lord. Anyhow, the photos were interesting. Michelle looks plain most of the time, but she photographs SO damn well. I think it's lame that Michelle and Amanda are listed together with one photo in the opening credits. Because, you know, twins are really just one person, right? CariDee seems like she'd be a little much in person, but as someone with a beloved college roommate from North Dakota, I loved her a little bit when she said "Uff da!" in relief after being called forward for her photo. After living with the darling, fabulous C. for a year, I now say "Uff da."


And...

Here's why those weather alerts were blocking out the ANTM action:


This photograph was taken (not by me) in a city near where I live, though it easily could've been taken in my hometown. I saw the most wicked-bad light show while I was driving from visiting MB's friend and his wife at the hospital to chai & chat. Badass, huh?

If you've got good thoughts to spare, send them MB's friend's way. Baby X seems very hale and hearty, but he was born at barely 34 and a half weeks, and he's going to be in the NICU for at least two weeks.


Reading: Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko, stuff for a paper on Kafka for school

Playing: Tonic, Flogging Molly, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, and the soundtracks to Hero and House of Flying Daggers.

Project Runway, How You Pain Me

6:13 PM  (Geek alert!) I'm actually nervous about tonight's episode of Project Runway. Why? Because I'm worried about Laura. I LOVE Laura. I'm rooting for Michael to win the whole shebang, but I really want Laura to come in second...or at least be in the final three. And especially now that it seems clear that Dickhead Jeffrey is going to make it to Olympus Fashion Week, it's that much more important to me that Laura be there to represent.

Last week I actually closed my eyes and hid behind MB on the sofa during elimination because I was so worried about Laura. The preview for this week, along with a promo touting the question "What melts the ice princess?" have me very very concerned.

At least I won't have to sit around wringing my hands and fretting until 9 PM. Instead, I'm heading off to chai & chat and letting the VCR pick up the slack while I'm gone.

Toodles for now!



Back again

11:45 PM  History was made tonight. For the first time EVER, I completely agreed with Jeffrey, who said, "What the fuck."

Vincent & Angela given a second chance? Sweet fancy Moses. WHY?


Also, I need to express my undying love for Tim Gunn, who won my heart with this exchange:

     Tim Gunn: "I have a question. Where is your white fabric?"

     Kayne: *holds up a piece of pleather-looking stuff that had been part of a belt until Michael advised against it* "Does this count as a fabric?"

     Tim Gunn: "Oh, Jesus."

TE AMO.


I thought the challenge was interesting, and I definitely agree with the results. Laura's dress was the best one, though Michael's wouldn't have been an unjust choice for the win. Angela's and Vincent's, predictably, were both icky. I didn't feel that Jeffrey's piece was very good (though his model, Marilinda, is without a doubt the best walker out there, with Michael's Nazri as a very close second), but unfortunately even though he's a ginormous prick, he has consistently produced better stuff than Kayne. I REALLY want to see Michael and Laura together in the final three, because I find their seemingly genuine friendship heartening and adorable. I really think Jeffrey can outperform Uli, just because she really never broke out of halter dress mode. Interestingly, the judges scolded Jeffrey for showing the same aesthetic (edgy but not elegant) with each challenge, but didn't give Uli as much of a hard time as they could've for yet another crazy print halter dress. I like Uli a lot, don't get me wrong...but I don't think there's much chance that Jeffrey's getting booted and I think Michael should win, so either Laura or Uli will have to be out.

And what's this nonsense about the final episode not happening until OCTOBER FREAKIN' 18th?? Gah!

As they showed the preview of the designers' reactions to some announcement from next week's show, MB wrested my heart back from Tim Gunn's perfectly manicured clutches with this comment:

"If those two [meaning Michael and Laura] are like 'Oh, crap!' and Jeffrey's all 'Yes!'...then Satan must be in town."




This made me laugh and laugh and laugh:



What? I never said I thrive on being classy. I totally want it as a button for my backpack.


I also love (but don't know if I'd wear):

(It says "shirt".)


These two I love and would definitely wear:



Visit One Horse Shy for more awesome shirts.




This also made me laugh and laugh, but in a slightly less immature way:



There's plenty more where this came from at Married to the Sea.




Reading: Survival of the Prettiest: the Science of Beauty by Nancy Etcoff

Playing: the Red Violin soundtrack. If you haven't seen this movie, please rent it or get it from the library. It is beautiful.

Project Runway, how do I love thee?

First, a caveat...I don't think the show's been as good since they switched to one day challenges. They seem to be showing a lot less of the garment-making and a lot more of the drama and interaction. Drama has its place, no doubt, but the clothes are kind of the point, yes?

Now, on with the show.

I'll start with the "designing for the average woman" challenge from two weeks ago. Let me say that I almost missed this one. I set the VCR to tape it before I left for Chicago, but mis-entered the date. Imagine my sadness when I spoke to MB that night and he said, "Wasn't your show on tonight? The VCR didn't kick on." Luckily, MB is incredibly fabulous and agreed to tape it when it came on the next night. He rules. I watched the tape when I got home on Sunday night, and I have to say...it wasn't my favorite episode. There wasn't enough focus on the clothes, and even though I felt bad for Angela's mom for having to work with Asshole Jeffrey, I really got sick of the weepy dramarama shit after the first ten minutes. Let's talk about something else, please!

I thought that Uli definitely deserved to win...her outfit was a lot more creative than Vincent's, and his model was pretty darn skinny. Also? When he said that Uli's mom had something of a "European air" about her? SHE'S GERMAN, YOU WEIRDO. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? I wasn't that surprised or upset that Robert went home...he really has been flat and dull since the first few shows. Jeffrey didn't have to answer as much as he should've for his ATROCIOUS dress. I don't care that Angela's mom was difficult. That dress was a horror. But they also shouldn't have let Angela weigh in on the experience. No one else got to weigh in on their mom's opinions. I felt like the judges gave Kayne a little more crap than he probably deserved. He's been off the mark lately, but his piece for Michael's mom was not that bad.



This week's show was better, though I still wished they'd put more focus on the clothes and the design process. I like Uli, but I wasn't surprised that the judges finally called her out for making yet another halter dress. I loved Laura's dress, but was a little surprised that they didn't criticize her for her color choice. It made her look a little washed out. Vincent's was fine, but the shirt was so dull. Michael's outfit was FAB. If he doesn't win the whole thing, I'm going to be so pissed. He rocks the block. I can see why they chose Jeffrey for the win, but I still think he's a pinheaded asshole. His skintight pants are gross, and did he really feel the need to call attention to his crotchular region with that shiny metallic zipper decoration? Excuse me while I vomit. Also, when Laura saw Michael strutting his stuff for the Paris judge, she genuinely smiled for him. She has class. When Angela was eliminated, Jeffrey was grinning from ear-to-ear in smug approval. It just made him look even more like a jerk than before. I fear that he'll make the final three and we'll have to watch him strut and preen even more. GAG.

Unlike Mrs. Squirrel, I do not have a scientific method of predicting the results. However, I'm still feeling like it's going to be Laura, Michael, and someone truly obnoxious in the final three...meaning either Crazy Vincent or Asshole Jeffrey, because I'm starting to get the impression that Kayne's days are numbered.

For longer, snarkier reviews, check out Television Without Pity. The one for the latest challenge isn't up quite yet, but if you have time to kill, it's worth it to read through the others.

There's also Blogging Project Runway, which I don't read, but which others might find interesting.



P.S. September 1st? SEPTEMBER FIRST?? This has to be a joke.

So, Project Runway.

Don't read this if you haven't watched this week's show, obviously. Or if you don't care about Project Runway.

This episode was a little bit brutal, I thought.

As much as I've liked Kayne in the past, his catty bitch act is kind of wearing on me. Don't get me wrong, I'll gossip with the best of 'em, but he's just been mean-spirited on the last few episodes. I did have to say I appreciated his relieved bolt from the runway at the end. Maybe he'll dial back the drama next week and make me like him again.

As much as I really REALLY dislike Jeffrey, I was surprised he didn't win. He acts like he knows better than the judges. I just want him to SHUT UP. But his dress actually was a bit more impressive than Michael's winning piece and definitely illustrated a good understanding of the materials he chose. He can keep his attitude, though. I don't really want to see him rolling his eyes and acting all shitty when the judges compliment the other designers.

I dig Uli, but I don't think she has demonstrated much range. I'm sort of surprised the judges haven't called her out for it yet. Granted, she produces absolutely stunning halter dresses...but what would she make if pants were required? Or sleeves? I'm interested, but cautious.

I've just started to really like Laura lately, so it was kind of unpleasant to see her being sort of bitchy. Not that I totally disagreed with her, but I don't feel like she really needed to call Kayne out to his face about his style or harangue Vincent about his (yet again) awful dress (though I wonder if Vincent was talking shit about Alison before Laura went off. Oh, and Kayne? You don't want to be "degraded" on camera? Suck it up, princess...you spend every moment outside the workroom talking smack about somebody. If you can't take it, stop dishing it.)

I feel bad for Alison. She seemed very sweet, and most of the stuff she did in earlier episodes was really nice. I guess it was just her bad luck that the judges weren't quite creeped out enough by Vincent to send him packing. That Minnie-Mouse-looking bow was TERRIBLE. She really should've found a way to make her original striped paper idea work. It also pisses me off that the judges were ragging on Alison for being a female designer and yet being "so careless with the female form." Pot, Kettle; Kettle, Pot. To a show that calls (with tones of regret) that stick of a model "larger" and says (somewhat disdainfully) that the dress makes her look "like a plus model," I got a finger for you. Guess which one.

Vincent. Dear God, make him stop talking. I eventually would've recovered from him saying twice that he "got off" on the dress during his pre-runway voiceovers. I could've convinced myself he was being metaphorical. But when he told the judges that the model's geisha-shuffle turned him on, let's just say the look on Nina Garcia's face pretty much said it all for me. He's a serious freakazoid.


I have decided that I want Michael to win the whole thing. I'd like Laura to make it to the top three for sure, but Michael really and truly seems like a nice guy. He's funny, he's extremely talented, and he isn't catting around behind everyone's back every second of the day. He may yet have reserves of untapped Asshole Potential, but I'm hoping not.


I am insanely impatient for next week's episode. Is it Wednesday yet?




P.S. Happy Birthday, Rabid Monkey.

You're either in, or you're out.

I always look forward to Wednesday evenings, because that's the night that I meet up with one of my best friends at the Barnes & Noble to drink chai and hang out and ogle all the shiny new books we wish we could buy. But now I have another reason to look forward to Wednesdays, because after I get home from "chai and chat," as MB likes to call it, I get to watch the night's episode of my new favorite obsession on my poor girl's Tivo (aka the tape from the VCR that I set to record before I left for work that morning).

Here's a clue (a big fat clue):



I don't know why I love this show so much. I think it's because it combines a reality formula that actually works for me (I also love to watch America's Next Top Model, even though Tyra Banks gets on my nerves.) with actually making something. It's sort of like HGTV mixed with just the right dose of drama, and then they throw in Heidi Klum and her damned adorable accent.

MB may think I'm nuts for watching this show, but I'm so not alone. Dude, even Jennifer Weiner likes Project Runway!



Playing: August and Everything After by Counting Crows and the soundtrack from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie

Reading: Don't Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late, a sequel to one of my favorite children's books of all time:



Both by Mo Willems. It's probably a bad thing that I now know I can purchase a pigeon poster or T-shirt. A very bad thing indeed.